Joke jokes
If you are ever mad, punch an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What's the difference between emo people and normal people? Normal people have wrists.
Why do emo kids sneak up on their Vietnamese grandfathers? Because they hope the war experience kicks in.
What do Indians call their father when they are born?
Data.
Why’d the chicken cross the road?
To get choked and stroked by Mr. Big Bloke!
“We’ll choke and stroke, it ain’t no joke!”
I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.
So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.
Why did he go to the chiropractors?
To get his spine fixed.
What is a kidnapper's favorite shoe?
White vans.
What is more fun than spinning a clown around on a clothes line at 100 miles an hour?
Stopping it with a pitchfork.
Who are the fastest readers?
9/11 victims, they went through 91 stories in 11.2 seconds.
What’s the favorite song of someone with an Oedipus Complex?
“My Mommy Comes Back”
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because the dad never came back with the milk.
I know this isn't about glue, but here's one:
Cardi B had a sister who was obsessed with fitness. Her name? Cardi O.
Me: I hit an orphan!
Mom: OMG WHY?
Me: Not like they can tell their parents-
What kind of overalls does Mario wear?
Denim-denim-denim!
I bet when 2 cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one says, "You're such a cheetah!" Then they laugh and go and eat a zebra or whatever.
What's Forrest Gump's password? 1forrest1.
Jokes about the Twin Towers and planes usually crash and burn.
I have 206 bones. When I look at you, I have 207.
Why can't an orphan use an Apple iPad?
Because it can't find the home button...