Joke jokes
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
'Cause they don't got balls to scratch.
When a person yells, just laugh and remember that they can’t hurt what’s already dead.
What is the difference between an adopted kid and an orphan?
If you're adopted, you're actually wanted.
"Do you know the difference between wallpaper and toilet paper?" Replies, "No." "Gross!"
What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?
"Can I have a bodybag?"
What did the knife say to the other knife?
"Knife to meet you."
Why did Harry fall out of the boat?
Because he's hooked!
Skedaddle skedoodle, I'm gonna go beat my noodle.
What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?
"Here's the beef of the week!"
What do you get when you eat a hamburger?
Mustard gas.
What's the difference between a Ranga and a Brick?
A Brick can get laid.
What does the blind man say when walking past the fish market?
“Good evening, ladies.”
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
*Aye, Matey!*
Why are there 25 letters in the alphabet? Because the D is in U.
Your mum said, "Who did it?" Ya nan!
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor: 10 babies in one trash can.
Morbid humor: 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
What did the salad say to the chef? LETTUCE GO!!!
Your forehead is so clear, like the Liberty Bell manual in 1876.
What is brown and sticky?
What is white and gooey?
What is long and hard?
(Tell me in the comments)
How did Helen Keller burn her cheek? She answered the iron.
How did she burn the other cheek? They called back.