Joke jokes

What does a kid with cancer and dark humor have in common? They never get old.

What do you get when you put a baby in a box filled with glass and nails and push it down the stairs?

... A boner.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Ketchup.

Ketchup who?

Ketchup my slow tomatoes! 🍅😂

Dark humor jokes are like kids with cancer.

They never get old.

What did John Cena say to the blind man? "YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"

If someone calls you, just say:

"This is Peter's abortion clinic and pizza restaurant, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!"

Did you hear about the guy who got his entire left side cut off? Well, he's dead.

Two pedophiles meet each other. Then one asks if he wanted to trade "2 of 5" for "1 of 10?"

Q: What were my son's last words before he died?

A: "Bye, Dad, I am going to school."

Where is the worst place to lock your keys in your car?

The anti-abortion clinic because you have to go back in and ask for a coat hanger.

Joke.

A priest, a pedo, and a rapist walk into a bar and that's just the first guy.

John saw a Gay in a wheelchair.

"I didn't know a man could be a fruit and a Vegetable!"

I'm gay.

This joke does not work in print, you have to speak it to someone.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Helen Keller.

Helen Keller who?

(Don't say anything).

Helen Keller who?

...you will get a laugh...ty.

What do gay horses eat?

Hay.

So, there are these 3 strings, they walk into a bar. People are giving them looks. The small chap is your typical thin cord. He walks to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. He replies, "Oii, your kind ain't welcomed here, so take your drink, mates, and fuck off."

He goes back to his mates and says, "We'd better get outta here." "Nonsense," replies the mid guy, he's your typical string. Goes to the barman and same story. Finally the last guy, he's your typical rope. He burst out, "Fuck this!" He twits and ties himself whilst messing up his hair. He struts up to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. The barman does so and whilst he prepares the drink, he opens with, "Say, aren't you a string?" "No, I'm a frayed knot."

What’s the difference between someone who is high on the spectrum [and] low on the spectrum? At least I can write this joke.

It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom.

He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store."

But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH!" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19-year-old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?"

Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing."

Johnny says, "Oh. But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"

(Santa winks at you)

My cock, lmao.