Joke jokes
Why did the orphan call her boyfriend "daddy"?
Because she wanted that D.
What do starving kids call Venetian blinds?
Bunk beds.
What’s black and white and dead all over? My Chemical Romance.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Owl say.
Owl say who?
Yes, they do.
You are American when you walk to the bathroom. What are you when you are in there?
You're-a-peein'. European.
Knock knock?
Who's there?
Not Sally, she doesn’t have any arms.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? She doesn’t have any arms.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus.
A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship's wheel in his pants.
The bartender asks, "What's with the wheel in your pants?"
The pirate replies, "Yarrr! It's drivin' me nuts!"
Why did Stephen Hawking go to Hell?
He couldn't get up the stairway to Heaven.
My grandma unplugged the internet cable, so I unplugged her life support.
They asked to tell them a joke, so I said no.
Me: What's the difference between me and my grandpa?
Friends: What?
Me: I've been alive for the past 14 years.
How do you get a clown off your swing?
You shoot it.
You. You're a joke.
Fell Sans: Welp, you're BONED!
Fell Papyrus: DAMN YOU SANS!!!
What is a cow on two legs?
Yo mama!
Question: Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?
Answer: Tequila
How did the Scottish man find the sheep in the tall grass?
Satisfying.
What does a kid with cancer and dark humor have in common? They never get old.
Why are school shooting jokes so funny?
Answer: The bullets hit your funny bone!
What do you get when you put a baby in a box filled with glass and nails and push it down the stairs?
... A boner.