Joke

Joke jokes

Necrophilia

I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!

Depression

When you think you're depressed, but you know you're probably just using depression to be lazy and self-loathing, but then you realize that it, in itself, might actually be a symptom of depression.

Well gang, it looks like we've got another mystery on our hands!

Orphan

Why is it okay to hit an orphan?

It’s not like they can tell their parents.

Family

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it leaves and never comes back...

Suicide attempt

My parents telling me: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

Me upset about my suicide attempt doesn't succeed.

Orphan

Why can’t orphans play GTA and get five stars? Because they’re not wanted!

Flag

My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.

So I took down his confederate flag.

Super man

What do you call someone who wants to jump off a building?

Cause they want to become Super Man.

Difference

What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?

A cat has nine lives, and a frog croaks every day.

Butt

Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for a butt!

Dentist

Dad: What time do you wanna go to the dentist?

Daughter: *tooth hurty*

Dad: All right.