What time is it when you get home, can you walk walk home, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school?
Hi.
How do you punish Helen Keller?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
My departed uncle was a circus clown before he died.
So all his friends came in one car.
What animal has five legs? A pitbull returning from a playground.
I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"
He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"
A cat gets its tail run over, and its mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”
The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”
Guess who dies next.
My teacher asked the class to stand up if you're dumb. No one did, so she said, "Come on, someone must be dumb," and pointed over to the left side of the classroom. Lil Jonny stands up. "Do you think you're dumb, Lil Jonny?" asked the teacher. "No, I just feel bad for you. You're the only one who stood up," replied Lil Jonny!
Why are mountains 🏔 so funny? Because they’re hill areas, do you get it? They are hill areas, like a mountain is a hill area. It sounds like hilarious, so you get it.
How did I know where you would go next?
Oh, I felt it in my bones!
Stop with the dead baby jokes. We're running out of babies.
I would make a disabled joke.
But they never work.
What did Stephen Hawking get for his B-Day?
Chocolate arm.
9/11 is like genders.
There used to be two of them, and now it’s a touchy subject.
"Abortion: Another word for dying at spawn."
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She forgot to put her seatbelt on.
Sans: Why couldn't the skeleton go to prom?
Papyrus: Why? AND YOU KNOW I HATE PUNS!
Sans: Because they had NO BODY to go with.
Papyrus: THAT IS ENOUGH!!!
Sans: Sorry, didn't mean to GET UNDER YOUR SKIN.
Papyrus: YOU HAVE MADE ME MAD TO THE BONE SANS......wait
Sans: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.
You know when people say a joke about living?
That's because we are all living a joke.
What do you call an orphan that grows to be a priest?
Fatherless.
What do you call an autistic kid with orange hair?
A boomerang.
