Joke jokes
How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.
Your birth certificate is like an apology from the condom factory...
Why is the Reaper not funny at all?
Well, he tells dead jokes!
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that lives with the royal family?
Rolls Royce.
What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.
Jokes about ISIS are all about the execution.
What’s an Emo’s favorite exercise?
The dead hang.
Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?
It scares the shit out of her dog.
What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?
“What in the world did I just read?”
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
You pull the pin and throw it back!
What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?
One has a functioning neck.
Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?
Because orange is the new black.
What kind of animal makes a good bottle opener?
A male Duck on Viagra.
How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Give him a tampon and ask him what period it came from.
What did the Twin Towers say to each other?
Sorry if that offended anyone.
“I guess we are going down together!”
Are you angry?
Go bully an orphan!
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Q: Why are school shooting jokes funny?
A: Because they're intended for a young audience.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up like an altar boy.
What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?
Depends.
What does a French guy say when he falls off?
Oh no, Eiffel!