Joke jokes
Why did the cow cross the road to go to the moovies?
I’d make a joke to Fetty Wap on this, but there’s only a 50/50 chance he’ll SEE this.
If I had a dime for every time someone has told me to kill myself, I'd be a millionaire.
Why couldn't the bike stand up by itself?
'Cause it was two tired!
What do you call a dinosaur that likes subtraction?
A galiminus.
Why is a deck of cards similar to a miniature pony?
They are both jokers.
Funny.
How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.
Your birth certificate is like an apology from the condom factory...
Why is the Reaper not funny at all?
Well, he tells dead jokes!
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that lives with the royal family?
Rolls Royce.
What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.
Jokes about ISIS are all about the execution.
What’s an Emo’s favorite exercise?
The dead hang.
Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?
It scares the shit out of her dog.
What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?
“What in the world did I just read?”
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
You pull the pin and throw it back!
What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?
One has a functioning neck.
Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?
Because orange is the new black.
What kind of animal makes a good bottle opener?
A male Duck on Viagra.