What is the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage!
Joke Jokes
How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.
I’d make a joke to Fetty Wap on this, but there’s only a 50/50 chance he’ll SEE this.
My wife and I have decided that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What do you call a fat chick with a rape whistle?
Optimistic.
What does a French guy say when he falls off?
Oh no, Eiffel!
What was Juice WRLD's favorite store?
Forever 21.
How do you find someone's hairline? It's simple, you don't.
What's Peter Pan's favorite place to eat out?
Wendy's?
Hello! Why did the duck cross the road? To prove he wasn't chicken!
If there is a guy in a wheelchair and he is a bully, say, "I’m still standing."
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni and got plane. (Yes, it's "plain," shut.)
Did you eat Chef Boyardee's food?
No, why?
Boy are deez nuts so big.
My wife said she wanted steamed vegetables with her steak, so I put her father in the hot tub.
Why does Michael Jackson like twenty-eight year olds?
'Cause there are twenty of them.
I'm not saying you're stupid.
But you're the reason plastic bags come with the warning, "Do not place over head!"
What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?
"Hi, nice to meet you."
Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"
So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.
There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.
There were 3 blonde scientists...wait that’s not the joke. The first one said “we are going to pilot the first unmanned spacecraft to land on the sun.”
The second one said “but we can’t do that - if we get within 5 feet of the sun we’ll freeze to death!”
The third blonde says “so we go at night.”
