Joke jokes
Why did the toad cross the road?
To show his girlfriend he had guts.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims: they went through a hundred stories in 10 seconds.
Why did the man put himself on fire?
To BURN Calories.
"Hippity hoppity, don't abolish my property!"
Those were a-mug-zing jokes. They were Mugderful, and Mugjestic.
A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar.
No joke!
Have you heard about the smart traveler? He's clearly going places.
Stairs are bad, because they are always up to something.
Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!
Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?
I heard an unusual word the other day: "Opaque."
Unfortunately, what it means is unclear.
What do you call a tall, affluent person? A big success.
What did the icicle say to the snow?
"Why do you have to be so soft?"
I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"
Q: What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A: A bus full of children.
A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:
"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You're welcome.
What do you call an Asian kid that is bad at math?
An orphan.
Yes, you are the one who can get it, and what time do I have?
What is a mouse's favorite movie?
"Sharpay's Fabu-mouse Adventure!"
There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.