Joke jokes
Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!
Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?
I heard an unusual word the other day: "Opaque."
Unfortunately, what it means is unclear.
What do you call a tall, affluent person? A big success.
What did the icicle say to the snow?
"Why do you have to be so soft?"
I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"
Q: What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A: A bus full of children.
A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:
"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You're welcome.
What do you call an Asian kid that is bad at math?
An orphan.
Yes, you are the one who can get it, and what time do I have?
What is a mouse's favorite movie?
"Sharpay's Fabu-mouse Adventure!"
There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.
Why did the cow cross the road to go to the moovies?
I’d make a joke to Fetty Wap on this, but there’s only a 50/50 chance he’ll SEE this.
If I had a dime for every time someone has told me to kill myself, I'd be a millionaire.
Why couldn't the bike stand up by itself?
'Cause it was two tired!
What side of the sidewalk do crazy people walk on? The psych-o-path.
What do you call a dinosaur that likes subtraction?
A galiminus.
Why is a deck of cards similar to a miniature pony?
They are both jokers.
Funny.