Joke jokes
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it! 😌
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”
I reached into my pocket and pulled out a rectal thermometer and thought,
"Some asshole has my pen!"
A Mario & Luigi joke.
What are the Mario bros' view on child support?
Mario: The parents are obligated to provide for the child and help them the best they could.
Luigi: LMAO I GOTTA GO!
Yesterday I was asked where my parents are. I said, "Getting milk."
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
Do you know why Daddy never comes back to get the milk? Because he’s the milkman.
Me: Joe left today.
Orphan: Who's Joe?
Me: Joe mama!
What's the one upside to being an orphan?
You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.
What did the grape say when the fox stepped on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
What is a cow that's good at math good for?
Meat pie.
What is Jesus's favorite exercise? Cross fit.
I go to get my mail.
Stranger: "Something fell out of your pocket! April fools!"
Me: "You're adopted, April fools!"
Then I see an orphan behind me and gets all excited.
On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student, "What are your parent's names?"
The student replied, "My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is Smiling."
The teacher said, "Are you kidding?"
The student said, "No, Kidding is my brother, I am Joking."
If you try to fail and you succeed, which one did you do?
I went to the store and bought Minecraft Java Edition.
I found a village, burned it down, and then I went home and played Minecraft.
A man walks into a bar.
He had to have 13 stitches!
What was the ballpoint's favorite sport? Pen-nis.
My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.
He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Because they don’t have a “mother’s” or “father’s” day!