Joke jokes
Me: Wanna hear a joke?
Person: Sure.
Me: Never mind, I was gonna say my life, but my life isn't a joke! Jokes have meaning.
Person: Dear God...
I don't like calculator jokes because they are too overused.
Two friends were hanging out with each other next to a tree.
Too bad only one was standing. :)
What do you call a plate that lies? Dish-onest!
Why is an orphan crying about its family?
Because it can't "let it go."
Why did Cleopatra bathe in milk? She couldn’t find a cow tall enough to have a shower.
Your forehead is so big it makes Megamind's head look small.
Say "eye," smell "map," say "ness."
(I am a penis!) HA HA!
What do you say when an emo cuts themself?
"Like your cut, G."
What did the emo kid say to the other?
"I like ya cut, G."
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn’t matter what you call it; it won’t come to you.
What do you call a tall person?
A tall person.
Why was the computer late for work?
He had a hard drive.
Why do orphans eat dry cereal for breakfast?
They're still waiting for their dad to come back with the milk.
I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling asleep (including him).
What's the difference between a gamer and dog poop?
Dog poop touches grass.
What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.
A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it’s too long."
Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’ll never get it."
How do you tell the difference between a girl spaghetti and a boy spaghetti?
Meatballs.
When you're sad, hit an orphan.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?