What kind of animal makes a good bottle opener?
A male Duck on Viagra.
Joke Jokes
What did the Twin Towers say to each other?
Sorry if that offended anyone.
“I guess we are going down together!”
Hey, I just want to give a round of applause to Shooter McFly, single-handedly keeping the jokes section alive. Unappreciated, well, Shooter, one person here appreciates you, at least.
What's more stupid than rapper and booty jokes?
NOTHING!
What if Game of Thrones and Harry Potter antagonism had a child?
Coldemort!
What is the best joke of all time?
Feminism.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Are you a mental hospital? Cause I need to be in you.
What do you call an inexpensive circumcision? A rip-off.
Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?
Because orange is the new black.
How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Give him a tampon and ask him what period it came from.
What do you call a tall terrorist?
Osama Bin Laden.
What's a lesbian's favorite weapon?
A finger gun.
*True story*
I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"
Why'd the girl fall off the swing?
'Cause she had no arms.
Knock, knock!! Who's there?
Not the girl.
She responds: “See that man over there with no arms? Tell him to clap.”
The kid replies: “But, Mom, I’m blind!”
Mom: “Exactly.”
What's the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
At least someone chose Pikachu.
Why did I trip over your foot?
Because you were so short I couldn’t see you!
Enough with the Hitler jokes. They make me Fuhrer-ious!
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
