Joke jokes
Why did the pen stop writing?
'Cause the pen wasn't very dependable.
Why's it so hard to come out of the closet? Just open the door!
How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?
A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.
Give a man fire, and he'll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I'm dressing.
What's a mentally retarded person's favorite color? Clear.
I have so many orphan jokes. I'm afraid most of them won't hit home.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
What do you call people who jump into the Hoover Dam?
Dam fools.
"I hope my death would make more sense than my life."- Joker
I started crying when my dad was chopping onions.
Onions was such a good dog!
What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?
Cash and carry.
What do you call an acid with a bad attitude?
A-Mean-O-Acid.
Knock knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya who? Sorry, I prefer Google.
What does a transgender call his/her parent?
Transparent.
Knock knock! Who's there? Deja. Deja who? Knock knock!
Q: What do you call a cranky cow?
A: Moooooooody.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalffeinated.
What did the balls say to the dick?
Hey dick, how's it hanging?
Why is April the smartest month?
It can never be fooled.