Joke jokes
Why were Helen Keller's hands crippled?
From reading stop signs at fifty miles per hour.
What did Tennessee do?
The same thing Arkansas did.
Girl 1: Dad, why is my name Rose?
Dad: Because a rose landed on your head.
Girl 2: Hey, Dad, why is my name Daisy?
Dad: Because a daisy landed on your head.
Boy: Hitddvjkyrefbhhhrurrrr!
Dad: Oh, hey Brick!
I like dick.
Why was the asian late to class?
His 1 minute rice took 2 minutes to cook.
What do you say when you see a pig making bread?
He's bacon.
I'd love it if you killed yourself, but Hitler killed himself and people still hate him...
What's the best part of being a pedophile? You will never have a wife.
Why couldn't the chicken cross the road?
Because it was disabled.
What is Donald Trump’s favorite nation? – Discrimination.
What's red, small, wet, and crawls up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
What do you call a rich Chinese man?
Cha-ching!
What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?
It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!
A Mexican magician said he would disappear on the count of three. He said, "Uno, dos," and disappeared without a tres!
Stop saying negative shit about dark humor jokes! If it bugs you that bad, then go away! That'll solve everything but world hunger and failed abortion.
What do you call a snail without a shell?
Dead.
What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef stroganoff.
dont make jokes about the accident my dad died in it he was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia :(
What do orphans call a family pic?
A selfie.
What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.