Joke jokes
What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I'm dressing.
I have so many orphan jokes. I'm afraid most of them won't hit home.
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
Aunt Arctic.
How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?
A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend asks, "Where is your girlfriend?"
The guy replies, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week, and you'll find out!"
What do you call people who jump into the Hoover Dam?
Dam fools.
"I hope my death would make more sense than my life."- Joker
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
I started crying when my dad was chopping onions.
Onions was such a good dog!
What do you call an acid with a bad attitude?
A-Mean-O-Acid.
Why is April the smartest month?
It can never be fooled.
Knock knock! Who's there? Deja. Deja who? Knock knock!
What did the balls say to the dick?
Hey dick, how's it hanging?
Q: What do you call a cranky cow?
A: Moooooooody.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalffeinated.
Knock knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya who? Sorry, I prefer Google.
What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?
Cash and carry.
Roses are red, pussies are wet, when it goes in he gets upset. She said it's too small, so that's all. But later that day, he wanted to say, "Every time I play, no one complains, so she was just lying." She started flying, went out of her seat, the skirt went up, the greatest of them all. Everyone said, "Fly away big chunky balls."
I don't trust atoms. They always make stuff up.
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
To get to the bottom.