A blind man walks into a woman's bar and asks the person next to him if she would like to hear a blonde joke. The woman says, "Before you tell your joke, you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols. Do you still want to tell that joke, cowboy?" He thought for a second and said, "Not if I have to explain it five times."
Joke Jokes
So my teacher's daughter committed suicide.
One day I'ma go up to her and say, "What's wrong, did Logan Paul leave your daughter hanging?"
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
The people in the Twin Towers, because they went through over 100 stories in less than 10 minutes.
What is a cow's favorite drink?
Mountain Moo!
Why were Helen Keller's hands crippled?
From reading stop signs at fifty miles per hour.
What did Tennessee do?
The same thing Arkansas did.
Girl 1: Dad, why is my name Rose?
Dad: Because a rose landed on your head.
Girl 2: Hey, Dad, why is my name Daisy?
Dad: Because a daisy landed on your head.
Boy: Hitddvjkyrefbhhhrurrrr!
Dad: Oh, hey Brick!
I like dick.
Why was the asian late to class?
His 1 minute rice took 2 minutes to cook.
What do you say when you see a pig making bread?
He's bacon.
I'd love it if you killed yourself, but Hitler killed himself and people still hate him...
What's the best part of being a pedophile? You will never have a wife.
Why couldn't the chicken cross the road?
Because it was disabled.
What is Donald Trump’s favorite nation? – Discrimination.
What's red, small, wet, and crawls up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
What do you call a rich Chinese man?
Cha-ching!
What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?
It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!
A Mexican magician said he would disappear on the count of three. He said, "Uno, dos," and disappeared without a tres!
Stop saying negative shit about dark humor jokes! If it bugs you that bad, then go away! That'll solve everything but world hunger and failed abortion.
