Joke jokes
Why did the pen stop writing?
'Cause the pen wasn't very dependable.
What did the kid say to the emo?
"Don't leave me hanging!"
What's the best thing about a dead hooker? Refunds.
what's the worst thing to say to an emo?
if you don't succeed the first time, try try try again.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Yo mum." "Yo mum who?" "Yo mum is watching you wank right now."
What's the difference between an emo and my clothes?
My clothes don't hang themselves.
What do you say to a girl with two black eyes?
Nothing, you told her twice.
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
What do you do when a Panera Bread panera breads?
Panera Bread.
I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."
Why doesn’t Joe Biden visit children with cancer in hospitals?
Because he can’t sniff their hair.
When I was in middle school, I was on my bus and people were doin' hairline jokes, and I heard this guy say, "Your hairline goes back to... uhhhhhh... 2042?"
Dark jokes are like home. A lot of people don't get it.
The good thing about being gay in school is that you can be the best student and still get all the D's.
What time is it when it turns 13 o'clock?
Time to get a new watch.
Give a man fire, and he'll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Boobs are like batteries...
AA will get the job done...
C is bigger than AA...
D is bigger that C...
...and if they're square, you don't want to put your tongue on them!
My relatives always teased me during weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"
But they stopped when I did the same to them during funerals.
I like telling dad jokes.
He laughs at most of them.
Why's it so hard to come out of the closet? Just open the door!