Joke jokes

What did the kid say to the emo?

"Don't leave me hanging!"

What does an orphan call a family picture?

A selfie.

What time is bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?

When the big hand touches the little hand.

What time is it when it turns 13 o'clock?

Time to get a new watch.

Me: "What's the difference between an apple and an emo?"

Friend: "I don't know."

Me: An apple actually falls from the tree.

A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend asks, "Where is your girlfriend?"

The guy replies, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week, and you'll find out!"

What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I'm dressing.

I have so many orphan jokes. I'm afraid most of them won't hit home.

I started crying when my dad was chopping onions.

Onions was such a good dog!

What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between you and me, something smells.

What do you call people who jump into the Hoover Dam?

Dam fools.

"I hope my death would make more sense than my life."- Joker

What do you call an acid with a bad attitude?

A-Mean-O-Acid.

What do you call a cow that just gave birth?

Decalffeinated.

What does a transgender call his/her parent?

Transparent.

What did the balls say to the dick?

Hey dick, how's it hanging?

Q: What do you call a cranky cow?

A: Moooooooody.

What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?

One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.

Man, I love this joke: Women's rights.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side. Y'all knew this one, fr.