Joke jokes
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Abajo.
Abajo who?
I have abajo of water with me.
Are you wearing a diaper? Because your butt looks so saggy.
Why did the orange stop?
Because it ran out of juice. Hahhaha.
A boy was following me for 8 years, even into the stall. I finally told him I’m not gay.
How do you make an octopus laugh?
Ten-tickles.
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"
What do you call an orphan with no legs in an adoption center?
Answer: Who cares?
Why did the cheetah kill the lion? Because he farted.
I know my jokes suck.
Tech administrator of a school: Hm, a message from Google security?
Tech administrator of a school: OH SHIT!
Assistant: WHAT, WHAT, TELL ME?
Tech administrator of a school: WE'VE BEEN COMPROMISED, WE FORGOT TO SECURE THE SITE!
Assistant: OK, OK, THE KEY IS NOT TO PANIC... let's call the school board.
A FEW MOMENTS LATER
Head of school board: HAHAHAHAHAHA! That's a good one, almost as good as the one with Jack, Jill, and the ripped condom! HAHAHAHAHAHA
Tech administrator of a school: HAHAHA yeah I know right *whispers* you are playing it cool, right?
Head of school board: *whispers* yeah we're fucked...
TWO HOURS LATER
Important fat people in one room: OH FUCK OH NO, HELP PLEASE!!!!! WAIT, HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO TELL THE PARENTS ABOUT THEIR STOLEN INFORMATION!!!
AND SO THAT WAS THE BIRTH OF RIOTING TEACHER
I love going to Hooters and looking at the menu... If you know what I mean;)
So, we are in class right, and the teacher has a metal leg. Every year she gets the question of, "Do metal detectors beep every time you walk by them?" She heard this question to the point where she just says yes without hesitation.
Once she had said yes, two kids in the back started laughing.
Teacher: Ok alright, take it a little bit more seriously would you?
Kid: Oh, we're not laughing at that.
Kid_2: We're laughing at cancer.
What is pedophiles' favorite prey: Vegetables?
The teacher asked the class what they wanted to be when they grew up.
Johnny said when he grows up he's going to be a motherfucking hustler. He's going to have a wife and live in a big house in the country with maids and butlers and drive a Rolls-Royce, and he's also going to have an apartment in the city where his side bitch is going to live. He's going to buy her expensive jewelry, whatever she wants: cars, diamonds, clothes, shoes.
The teacher didn't know what to say, so she calls on Sally. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Sally said, "I want to be Johnny's bitch."
Why couldn’t the midget talk?
Because someone stepped on him.
Q: What’s the difference between a priest and McDonald’s?
A: Nothing! They both stick their meat in 10 year old buns.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it got stuck in a crack!
A pair of souls were floating up to heaven when they passed a pair of eagles.
"Ah, eagles," said the souls. The eagles were too polite to say anything.
Why did Aaron's dad beat him? Because he tensed his ass.
Question: What's brown and sitting on the piano bench?
Answer: Beethoven's last movement.
What is a definition of tight?
A. Putting a blind man in a round room and saying, "Your dinner's in the corner."