Stop ruining the jokes. It's called "worst jokes ever" for a reason. We all feel bad for orphans, but people like dark humor and joke about everyone, so quit being offended, please.
Joke Jokes
Dam, my balls itch like hell.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Why couldn't the button get off the couch?
Because his butt weighed a ton! (butt-ton)
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
My penis.
This isn't a joke, just an American back-to-school list.
1. Pencils
2. Binders
3. Paper
4. Pencil sharpener.
What, did you think I was going to make a school shooter joke?
What do you call a three-legged cow?
Disabled.
What happens when you say, "Hey Siri?"
Stephen Hawking answers.
Question: What's brown and sitting on the piano bench?
Answer: Beethoven's last movement.
What is a definition of tight?
A. Putting a blind man in a round room and saying, "Your dinner's in the corner."
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby?
Both of their legs don't work.
Why did the bird lay an egg on Stephen Hawkings?
Because he is Stephen HAWKings.
Wanna hear a mean joke?
My life.
What do you call high Mexicans?
Baked beans ;)
A guy walks into the house carrying a sheep and says out loud, "This is the pig I screw when you're on the rag."
His wife replies, "That's not a pig, it's a sheep."
He says, "I was talking to the sheep."
What does the cannibal say when he jumps into the pool?
CANNONBALL! P.S. I made this myself.
I am sick and tired of horror movies; it is always the stupid ones that die first. When you see a guy in a dark, bloody coat and a knife, he ain't there to just look at yah run; don't scream, run!
So, this guy walked into a cannibal bar. The barista asked him what he wants, and the man ordered water. Then he left, because he wasn't a cannibal and just wanted a glass of water.
So, I got my blind friend a Big Mac for his birthday. A week later, he walked up to me and said,
"Damn, that was the most violent book I've ever read."
Deez nuts!
GOT EEMMMMMMMM!
