Joke

Joke Jokes

Baby

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other is just a watermelon.

Card

What does this joke and half a deck of cards have in common?

You can't even deal with it!

Pencil

I was going to tell you a joke about a pencil, but now it is pointless.

Constipation

Me: Have you seen the movie Constipation?

You: No.

Me: Because it hasn’t come out yet! ERMINER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Death

How did Stephen Hawking die?

He rolled away and his charger unplugged.

Death

Why did Stephen Hawking die? ... Because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep."

Love

Why do you want me?

Cus u like me...

What do you mean?

You love me.

No.

Look down.

Spongebob

(This isn't really a joke btw anyway.) SpongeBob, me boy, ye ruptured me intestines with that massive c*ck of yours, agahgahagahagahagah!

Fart

3 men go to hell. Satan says if you can question me and I can't answer, you go to heaven.

The first man asks if Satan knew how to make computers. He goes to hell. The next man asks if he knew how to make furniture. He goes too. The third man pokes a ton of holes in a bottle cap and farts in the bottle, asks Satan where the fart came from. Satan said every possible answer and the man pointed to his butthole and said "nope this one"😂

Dog

How do you know if an Asian has broken into your house?

Your dog is gone. ;)

Toilet

What did the kid say to the toilet?

"Did you order a number two because I got one ready for you?"

Leper

Q: What did the little girl say to her leper daddy?

A: "Oops, I got your nose!"

Poop

So, a bear and a rabbit are in a field. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Does your poop stick to your fur?" The rabbit replied, "No." Then the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his butt.

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  • Nun

    Q: What's black and white and red all over?

    A: A nun falling down the stairs.

    Cow

    Why did the cow cross the road?

    To get to the udder side.

    Nobody likes that joke.

    Cow

    What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

    What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.