Joke jokes
What do you do with a dead scientist?
You barium.
What's the same thing between milk and a kid with cancer?
They both have an expiry date.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.
I ran into a dwarf and he said: "Well, I’m not Happy."
Then which one are you?
I got pranked so many times. Once I saw two wheels rolling down the street. I heard this noise. I looked behind me. There's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming, "HELP! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE!" but I walked away. I knew it was a prank.
Me walking in to the office:
Principal: Tell me, what did you do?
Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...
Dark humor is just like food, not everybody gets it.
I know five fat people, and you're three of them.
Why did Chad date the 9 yr old?
Because Stellas hot.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
Because his cousin's name was Koshin, and he didn't want to live anymore.
What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?
Reload... chhchhhh.
Me: Cobain!
Friend: No, dude, it's Kobe.
Me: Why? Cobain didn't miss his last shot.
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
Man, I love this joke: Women's rights.
Kid: What is between mom's legs?
Dad: Paradise.
Kid: What's between your legs?
Dad: The key to paradise.
Kid: Well, you better change the lock, the neighbor has the key to.
What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker?
Hop in!
Why did the man sit on his porch and bark at the postman when he came?
Because his dog had a sore throat!
Good morning, madam. I am from the local council. Can you please tell me if you have a dog license for that poodle you have on your head?
The Gold Coast Titans winning the NRL. Best joke ever.
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