Joke

Joke Jokes

Hand

I dipped my hand in red food dye, so I said, "Looks like I’ve been caught red-handed!"

Cow

Knock, knock.

"Who's there?"

Cow says,

"Cow says who?"

No! Cow says moo!

Friend

Lol, I switched out my friend's leukemia medication for mercury.

Like and comment if you get it!

Alphabet

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N. Oh my gosh, I'm peeing on my shoe, no one knows about it yet!

Priest

Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.

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  • Sex

    She likes rough sex with handcuffs and I’ll be honest... She likes me to Chris Brown her when she acts like Rihanna.

    Ranch

    A girl named Ranch went to the store and stayed there. Why? Because she was ranched!

    Chicken

    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    Why?

    To visit the ugly witch's house.

    Knock, knock...

    Who's there?

    The chicken!

    Fire

    Give a man a match, he'll be warm for a while. But set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

    Bomb

    What did Nicki Minaj say when she sat next to a bomb?

    "Bang bang right through the roof. Bang bang all over you."

    Man

    I'm funny but sad, I submit jokes you'll love. Look for my name in jokes you've read. Anyway.

    What did the man with no hands get for his birthday? Gloves. Just kidding, he didn't have the chance to open the gifts.

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  • Snake

    Little Jimmy asked his mom if he could take a bath with her since he was scared of being alone. She said, "Sure, just don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what are those?" She replied, "Those are just headlights." He looked down and said, "What is that?" She said, "That's just a bush." The next day, mommy wasn't home, so he asked to take a shower with his papa instead. He said, "Okay, but don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what is that?" His papa replied, "That's just a snake." Later that night, he asked to sleep with his parents. They said, "Okay, just don't look under the covers." After a while, he grew bored and went under the covers. Jimmy screamed, "Mom, turn on the headlights, the snake is in the bush!"