What is the difference between an Orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
What is the difference between an Orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ididap!
Ididapoo!!
Why does a kid yell, "Shit?"
Because he had to take one.
Q: What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said to Courtney Love before he died?
A: “Holes gonna be big.”
So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Friend: You're adopted.
Orphan: At least I was chosen!
Friend: At least I was kept.
Why do orphans always have water in their cereal? Because the dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A stick.
Do you know what's the difference between a knife and a girl's argument?
A knife has a point.
Hey, y'all, I just wanna say thanks to Gwen on here. She writes jokes, and she got me through a lot xx.
If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size.
What do you call a rich Chinese man?
Cha-ching!
What's worse than 10 babies nailed to a tree? 1 baby, nailed to 10 trees.
Why did the baker's hands smell of shit?
He kneaded a turd.
What do you call a selfie of an orphan?
A family photo.
What do you call an anorexic blond with a yeast infection?
... A quarter pounder with cheese.
Why can’t orphans play GTA and get five stars? Because they’re not wanted!
This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"
What's harder than steel? Michael Jackson at a playground.