Joke

Joke Jokes

Dad

What did the dad say to the kid?

Nothing, he went to get the milk.

Orphan

Why didn't the orphan do the work?

Because when the teacher says they would call your mum or dad, there's nobody to call.

Marriage

My friend that used to be married was making jokes about me being short. Then I told him, "Your marriage was so short it made me look like Shaquille O'Neal."

Baby

What do teen mothers and their unborn babies have in common?

They're both thinking "Oh my God, my mom's gonna kill me!"

9/11

You know how 7 8 9? Why was ten scared? 'Cos he was in the middle of 9/11.

Suicide attempt

My parents telling me: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

Me upset about my suicide attempt doesn't succeed.

Water

They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0

What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.

Michael Jackson

Why did Michael Jackson rush over to K-Mart one morning?

Because he heard little boys' pants were half off!

Anal Sex

What’s the difference between anal sex and vegetables? One is cruel to the person getting it in, the other is vegetables.

Print

This joke does not work in print, you have to speak it to someone.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Helen Keller.

Helen Keller who?

(Don't say anything).

Helen Keller who?

...you will get a laugh...ty.