Joke jokes
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Friend: You're adopted.
Orphan: At least I was chosen!
Friend: At least I was kept.
Why do orphans always have water in their cereal? Because the dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A stick.
Do you know what's the difference between a knife and a girl's argument?
A knife has a point.
Hey, y'all, I just wanna say thanks to Gwen on here. She writes jokes, and she got me through a lot xx.
If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size.
What do you call a rich Chinese man?
Cha-ching!
What's worse than 10 babies nailed to a tree? 1 baby, nailed to 10 trees.
Why did the baker's hands smell of shit?
He kneaded a turd.
What do you call a selfie of an orphan?
A family photo.
What do you call an anorexic blond with a yeast infection?
... A quarter pounder with cheese.
Why can’t orphans play GTA and get five stars? Because they’re not wanted!
This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"
What's harder than steel? Michael Jackson at a playground.
What did the dad say to the kid?
Nothing, he went to get the milk.
Why didn't the orphan do the work?
Because when the teacher says they would call your mum or dad, there's nobody to call.
My friend that used to be married was making jokes about me being short. Then I told him, "Your marriage was so short it made me look like Shaquille O'Neal."
Your hairline's so far back, you need binoculars to see it.
The "F" in "Orphan" stands for "Famulu."