Joke jokes

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

Your mum sat on a phone, and she turned it into a pancake.

Why can't orphans work at SC Johnson?...

Because it's a FAMILY company.

Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? You said you would never forget.

Knock knock.

Me, a person: Who's there?

A: Deez nuts!

Why does an orphanage stay overnight at a school? Cause their parents won't pick them up.

Q: How did Helen Keller get a concussion?

A: She kept stepping on a rake.

One day, Johnny told his dad that a girl in his class liked him. He thought she was cute. She said, "Aw, you're like candy!" He didn't say anything. He said, "Why don't you think I am sweet like candy?" Little Johnny said, "Well, sometimes I get a toothache, and it hurts, so I stop eating it, like I stopped liking you."

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Orange.

Orange who?

Orange you glad I didn't make a 9/11 joke?

Sorry, I don't have a joke here... Just wondering how idiots end up here complaining about offensive jokes when you ended up here. You had to click that section on purpose, right? If you can't take it, piss the fuck off... If I'd be gay and I'd look up gay jokes and get offended... how stupid is that?

Went to see a psychic the other day.

I knocked on the door, and she said, "Who is it?"

So I turned around and left.

What did the terrorist think to himself seconds before hitting the tower?

"Did I leave the stove on?"

Why does an orphan only have 363 days in a year?

Because they don’t have mothers and Father’s Day!

The boyfriend says to the explosive dude: "You're the bomb!" The explosive dude says: "Wow, that was Whitty."

Guys, we should stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents will get mad. Oh.... Wait... Continue.

My brother caught Covid last month.

First I knew about it was when he speed-dialled me at 3am and gasped, "I can't breathe, I can't breathe!"

I just told him straight: "Bro... you really need to work on your George Floyd jokes."

Did you know victims of 9/11 are fast readers?

They went down 100 stories in 4 seconds.

Have you ever walked into Helen Keller’s house?

She has.

Papyrus: HUMAN, WHY ARE YOU SAD?

Me: I'm just BONELY.

Sans: Good one kiddo.

Me: Hey, are your parents here?

Orphan: (crying) STOP CALLING HERE!