Joke jokes
What's an orphan's favorite song?
"Gimme Shelter."
Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.
They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."
Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.
He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.
"Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"
Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.
He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.
He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"
They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"
What did the coal say to the charcoal?
You look pretty coal! 🤣
Say this when showing this website to someone: "You know, it's too bad this website doesn't have a homepage."
What's worse, being loved or hated? 'Cause when you're loved you could be left alone or be betrayed, but when you're hated no one's there to leave you. What do you think?
I bet for Halloween you were a Goblin. How about you gobble deez nuts?
So, I was at a stand up comedy show in Russia where the comedian was making fun of Putin. The jokes weren’t that good, but I loved the execution.
What's long and black?
The line at Popeyes.
Last night, I burned an orphanage. There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?"
What’s black and long?
The Chick-fil-A line.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Stop.
Stop who?
Stop posting stupid orphan jokes that have been posted on this site 10 times before!
What is the one thing cripples can't do? ... Stand-up comedy.
What did the headless horseman say to the woman?
"Give me head."
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
What does an orphan call a family photo?
A selfie.
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he had someone to call Father.
So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.
There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.
Why don't orphans like to get lost?
Because somebody's going to ask where their parents are.
Want to know the difference between an orphan and a flower??
Flowers get picked.
What do you do when you're sad? Kick an orphan!
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?