Joke jokes
What did the bird do when he ate the expired worm?
He flew up!
Hey guys! Ello here with an update!
I know I haven't been doing a lot of jokes lately, so I will make sure to do that, but I have something to say! I am going to Disneyland today!! So here is the plan. Today we are going to leave around 2 and go to Downtown Disney for dinner and check into our hotel and stuff like that. Then we are going to wake up bright and early tomorrow and go to Disneyland and stay 'til midnight, and then on Monday we are going to California Adventure! I am missing school on Monday! I'm so excited! And don't worry, I will make sure to tell you guys all about it when we get back. Love y'all!
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell 'em to clap until their parents come home.
1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?
- A bus full of children.
2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
- He died of a yeast infection.
3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...
- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”
4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...
- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...
- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
To all of you making jokes about orphans, it’s all fun and games until both of your parents leave you.
LMFAO (my parents left me and it’s not the funniest thing ever)
What is one good thing about pedophiles?
They drive slow in the school zone.
What do you call an epileptic kid on cocaine?
An earthquake.
My parents are like the Twin Towers, only one came back.
A collection of 911 jokes.
What kinda pizza did they order at 911?
Plane.
What was the color of 911?
Plane.
What is the fastest way to see 911?
Plane.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite beverage? Milk.
What’s the difference between a clock and an orphan's dad? The clock comes back around.
You can hit an orphan, because who are they gonna tell? Their parents?
So, there's Fred and Frank. Now, they've been friends for years, but Fred, see, he's depressed. Badly.
Either way, so F+F are texting each other, and here's how it goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge too harshly)
Frank: Yo
Fred: Hi...
Frank: U heard about de competition?
Fred: Yeah...
Frank: You wanna hang out?
Fred: .......
Frank: What? I've got some noose (news) for you.
Fred: ...I(
Frank: Fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan, though. We don't wanna be hanging on the end.
Fred: *sigh* You know....you really can't rope me into this competition.
One time Uma Thurman was Poison Ivy; she was weird in that, except for her punny jokes.
Q: What do you call a gay cowboy?
A: A jolly rancher.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
So, I saw two homeless people on the road fighting. I said, "Stop fighting and go home." I guess it was a little insensitive.
Why does the orphan drink hot coco with water?
Because his dad never came back with the milk.
When the husband said "Is your ass so big?" she said "Because I am holding my shit."
A: Who can tell me a joke?
B: Life.