Joke jokes
Yo mama so fat, when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the concrete laughed up.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because dad never came back with the milk.
A wife and husband go to a barn. The husband picks up a goat and says, “Look at this pig I have to sleep with every night.”
The wife says, “Honey, that’s a goat.”
The husband replies with, “I was talking to the goat.”
What is a nonce's favorite toy...? You.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a hockey player?
A hockey player gets to shower after three periods.
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”
Have you ever been to the new Disney park called SawCon?
SawCon deez nutz!
What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?
They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.
Why can't you hear the pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
"Knock knock?"
"Who's there?"
"Depression"
"Depression wh-"
ME!! *runs away*
I bought an anti-bullying wristband. I say I bought it; I stole it off a fat ginger kid.
Me: Do you know a funny joke?
Friend: Yes, you.
If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.
If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.
And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!
You can beat up orphans, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Waiter: Can I have your order?
Me: No, it’s mine!
How many children does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Not 27, because my basement is still dark.
What did one orphan say to the other?
Quick, Robin! To the Batmobile!
A prisoner dug out of prison. He appeared in a playground. He said, "I'm free, I'm free!" A kid said, "So what? I'm four."
A man walks up to Lil Johnny one day and asks, "If you had one wish, but that wish will be granted to everyone on Earth... what would it be?"
So Lil Johnny thinks real hard and long, then said, "Well, I would wish for me to shit myself."
The man is shocked and asks why, and Lil Johnny replies, "Well, I would be on the toilet. I think everyone else would just be confused!"