Joke jokes
What do you call a winter time contact?
A Santa Claus.
How do you fit 100 rape victims inside a Mini Cooper?
In the ashtray.
What do you call an autistic person with a driver's license?
A LETHAL WEAPON!
Guy: Are you depression? 'Cause you're crippling me.
Car driver: No, I'm the guy that hit you with his car and crippled you.
Guy: Don't worry, I was already crippled because I got crippling depression.
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?
Act like a nut.
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
A grasshopper jumps into a bar.
The bartender says, "We've got a drink named after you."
The grasshopper says, "Seriously? Why would you name a drink Callum?"
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
What did the goat say?
"Let's play the grass!"
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣funny joke yes
The fish do nothing. That is definitely a bad joke.
What did the toilet say to the other toilet? "You look a bit flushed."
Why do orphans only drink water in cereal?
'Cause Dad never brought home the milk...
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Your Nan.
WHAT? MY NAN IS DEAD!
What's red and blue and runs up your leg?
A homesick miscarriage.
What do you call a dead hooker?
It doesn't matter, she won't answer you.
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?
Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.
Why is my sister so annoying? Because put your own thing in.
A computer is a HARDware device. How come someone still feels it is MicroSOFT?
My sister told me words don't hurt her, so I chucked a dictionary at her.
How do you surprise a blind guy?
Say, "Surprise!"