You must have been born on the highway because that's where accidents happen.
Joke Jokes
Hey, did you know that 9/11 won a Grammy?
Yes, best comedy award.
Say "eye," smell "map," say "ness."
(I am a penis!) HA HA!
What’s an emo kid's favorite wood working tool? A chop saw!
"Who am I? Why am I typing?"
God damn it. Fuck Christianity. I'm fucking 30 years old and still a virgin.
THAT'S A JOKE GOD DAMMIT!
Yo Father, don't use the baptism bath. I cleaned my anal plug in there.
What?
The holy water gets all the ass off. Don't mind the white stuff. *clears throat*
What is it called when a depressed person gets a stroke?
A stroke of luck :)
Your forehead is so big it makes Megamind's head look small.
"Confucius say, man who has mosquito on balls truly understands nonviolence."
When we told Twin Towers to put on airplane mode, we didn't mean a real airplane.
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One's a good year, and one's a great year.
I got caught doing donuts in the parking lot, and I know what y'all are thinking.
Who names their dog Donuts?
Yo yo yo, I’m a dinosaur, rawr! And my Snapchat is s4r1m-007 for more amazing jokes.
What do you call a dinosaur with a butt?
A Butt-asaurus.
What do you call a man with no head? Airhead.
I'm on a seafood diet, I see food and I eat it.
What did one butt cheek say to the other butt cheek?... You crack me up.
What did the Emo and the Orphan have in common?
They both hang with the trees.
What's Osama Bin Laden's favorite drink?
A Double Manhattan.
