Joke jokes
Why is Death the world's biggest slut?
Death gets to f*** everyone.
Who are the fastest readers?
9/11 victims, they went through 91 stories in 11.2 seconds.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and called it "Hot Wheels."
I gave a blind person a gun and said it was a hair dryer.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I decided to take her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
How many terrorists does it take to tile a roof?
It depends on how thin you slice them.
What is more fun than spinning a clown around on a clothes line at 100 miles an hour?
Stopping it with a pitchfork.
What's the best thing about stage 4 cancer... no stage 5.
What is a kidnapper's favorite shoe?
White vans.
What do you call a tall person?
A tall person.
What does an orphan and a female's mouth have in common?
They take in 100's of kids.
What do you call a person with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you told them twice.
What does a piece of gum and a gun have in common?
You pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.
What time is bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
Me after Taco Bell, "I’m about to blow this place up like September 11."
What did the priest say to the skunk?
Let us spray.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn’t matter what you call it; it won’t come to you.
What weighs 70 pounds and doesn't like sex?
The 6-year-old in the trunk of my car.
Guys, we gotta stop telling these jokes. They are getting out of h- oh wait no .... Continue.
Yo daddy so stupid, he threw a Father’s Day party at the orphanage.
What did the Catholic priest say to the other Catholic priest as they entered the orphanage? Let’s us prey.
I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.