Joke

Joke jokes

What do you get when you put 2 nuns and a blond on a football field? 2 tight ends and a wide receiver.

What do you call a cat with a live in doctor?

An anemic, shrivelled cat with desperate attached owners.

I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.

So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.

Why’d the chicken cross the road?

To get choked and stroked by Mr. Big Bloke!

“We’ll choke and stroke, it ain’t no joke!”

People on the Titanic were cracking up at my jokes, so did the Titanic. No, really, the Titanic cracked in half!

Did you hear about the dwarf that had his wallet stolen? Just how low can you get?

Little Johnny walked into an ice cream shop and asked: "Do you have chocolate filled ice cream?"

The man replies: "We are out of that, sorry, we are almost out of every single flavor, do you want me to get you a vanilla filled one?"

Johnny replies: "Sure."

After that, the man asks for Johnny's phone and goes to back of the store. 5 minutes later, the man comes with an ice cream and Johnny's phone.

Johnny asks: "How much for the ice cream?"

The man replies: "Nothing, it's on the house."

After Johnny ate his delicious ice cream, he searched for his watch history. And then Johnny realized the flavor of the ice cream.

I have a better version of this joke.

How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. That’ll definitely turn on the waterworks.

What do you call an emo kid playing with fire?

Forgot to clean little piece of dust.

"I'm sorry, Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."