Joke jokes
What do you call an emo that cuts too deep? Gushers.
It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes. My uncle died in 9/11...
He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.
Hey, Mom, I am ugly.
"Facts," my mom says.
What's Osama Bin Laden's favorite drink?
A double Manhattan.
Who can jump the highest?
Emos, some of them are still falling.
Me: Why can't orphans play baseball? Friend: Why? Me: Because they can't find home.
I like women's rights "jokes" because they're all facts.
You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"
How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?
None of these are jokes... they're all facts!
One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV.
His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.
The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.
The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuUDeEeEeDrrrrrrrrr!!!" "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!!!"
I am the worst joke ever. Get it? My whole life is a joke.
What's the difference between Monday and a dick?
They're not different. They're both unnecessarily long and hard.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
What's better: nailing Jesus or getting nailed?
Depends on who's sucking.
Why can't people understand these jokes?
Why did Michael Jackson cross the road?
To get to the opera.
Ask the emo kid: "Hey, how's it hanging?"
Dude, 9/11 jokes always bomb.
Don't tell me I haven't got balls. I just happen to wear mine on my chest, and I can guarantee they're a lot bigger than yours!
Have you heard about the Pokemon called "rhy rhy rhyde" on deez nuts?