Joke jokes
Yo mama stops at the PokeStop... to buy a Big Mac.
Chuck Norris threw one Pokéball and caught 'em all.
What is Donald Trump’s favorite nation? – Discrimination.
Your mom finds a mirror on the scrapyard and says, "I would have thrown away a picture like that, too!"
A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."
What was the last thing going through the minds of the people who jumped out of the buildings during 9/11?
Their ankles.
What was Osama Bin Laden's favorite drink?
A Double Manhattan.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles.
All of these jokes are so dark, I'm surprised cops haven't shot them.
What's the number one pick up line at a gay bar?
"May I push your stool in?"
How do you get chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9.
What is the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? -- Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? Because she heard the drinks were on the house.
What is the difference between butter and a blonde? - Butter is difficult to spread.
Doctor: "Does your penis burn after intercourse?"
Patient: "I don't know. I never tried lighting it."
He: "Do you smoke after sex?"
She: "I don't know. I've never looked."
A programmer pushes a stroller through the park. An elderly couple comes along: "Is it a boy or a girl?" The programmer replies, "Yes."
A computer science student is studying under a tree, and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, "Where'd you get that?"
The student on the bike replies, "While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, 'You can have anything you want.'"
The first student responds, "Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb? - None, they declare darkness to be the new standard.