Joke jokes
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
Bananana!
Why didn't anyone react when the king farted? -- It was a noble gas.
Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? -- Because they lactose.
What has a bottom at the top?
Your legs.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What do you say to your sister when she's crying? -- "Are you having a crisis?"
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.
What's the difference between a gay and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What is a pedophile's favorite part about Halloween? -- Free delivery.
A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?"
The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."
"Yeah, that's the one!"
What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? -- A waist of time.
A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, "I can't believe I blew forty bucks in there."
Why does the blonde stand in a corner when she's cold?
Because it's 90 degrees.
What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? -- He nuts and bolts.
Russian history in 5 words: "And then things got worse."
I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.
I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I've made wet this year to -1.
Why did 10 die? -- He was in the middle of 9/11.