Joke jokes
I tried to catch air once... I mist.
Down Syndrome is already a joke.
I went to the zoo the other day. The only animal there was a dog. It was a Shih-tzu (shit zoo).
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The man orders a beer, one for him and one for the giraffe.
After they finish their drinks, the giraffe falls over, and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door.
The bartender says, "Stop! You can't leave that thing lying on the floor!"
The man says, "Mate, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. “Dos, 1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 8.1, 10.”
How do you boil holy water?... You boil the hell out of it!
There were these three men; their names were Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, they were riding in their car, and Shit fell out, so Manners went out to pick Shit up, and Shut up went to the police station.
When he got there, the police officer said, "What's your name, son?" and Shut up said, "Shut up." The officer replies with, "Ummm...excuse me?!" and Shut up said, "Shut up!" and the officer said, "Boy, where are your manners?" and Shut up said, "Round the corner picking up Shit!"
There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station while Manners tried to help Shit.
When Shut up got to the police station he says, "My brother has just been hit by a car."
The policeman replied with, "OK then, first I need to know your name."
"Shut up."
"No, I need to know your name."
"Shut up."
"Excuse me, but where are your manners?"
"Round the corner picking up shit."
Want to hear a joke?
Your face.
What's a pedophile's favorite place to go in?
Kum and Go.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
So, you wanna hear a joke about the wall?
... Actually, nah, you won't get over it.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Well, it's not 8 because my basement is still dark.
Girls are like math; if they're under ten, then you use your fingers.
I can't handle these puns...
But I can HAND you some puns!
Budum tiss!
Why did the blonde run outside naked?
She thought the steam was a gas leak.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It doesn't matter, he's dead.
Why did the noble gas cry?
Because all his friends Argon.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Lean beef.
Why couldn't the dinosaur clap? They're dead!