Joke jokes
Q: What did the iceberg say to the Titanic?
A: I'd hit that.
One day a teacher stands up in front of her class and asks if anyone in the class is an idiot, and says that if there is one, then he/she should stand up.
After a minute, a boy stands up.
The teacher then asks the boy if he actually thinks he's an idiot.
The boy says, "No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."
This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom.
So he asked the teacher, "May I use the bathroom?"
The teacher replied, "No, not unless you say your alphabet."
So the boy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z."
When he finished, the teacher asked him, "Where's the p?"
The boy replied, "Half way down my leg..."
Why are mountains so funny? Because they are so high!
Guy spills milk on me. I say, "It's okay, we all make mistakes sometimes, but apparently your mom made a big one."
Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "A bad joke."
What do you call a sociopath who damages a box of Wheaties? A cereal criminal!
What do you call a retard in a house fire?
Flame Retardant.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It didn't; it got stuck in a crack.
Knock, knock. Who's there? You're adopted.
My eggcellent egg yolks crack everyone up.
If you don't like them, you're just hard boiled.
Have you heard about the animal that was made of a human hand?
It's an ARMadillo.
Q: What has two wings and a halo?
A: An Asian phone call, "Wing, Wing, Halo?"
What do you call people that make retarded jokes?
You.
What do you call a couple Mexicans getting stoned in a bush? Buches baked breans.
Chuck Norris destroys the yo mama!
Your mom is fat.
Oooo, roasted!
A swan, a goose, and a penguin walked into a bar... I ducked.
1 + 1 = window.
Here's a joke... you.