What's black, white, and "read" all over?
A zebra after a lion is full.
Joke Jokes
Q: What's the difference between an egg and me?
A: An egg gets laid.
You are the joke.
What's a lesbian's favorite type of food?
Finger-food.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the knucklehead's house...
Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.
What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
Why is April the smartest month?
It can never be fooled.
Why didn't the skeleton want to make art anymore?
He didn't have the heart to put into it.
Anything can be funny with the right delivery, except for abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.
Grandpa: "You can't have phones within 15 feet of the table."
Me: "And you aren't allowed within 100 feet of the elementary school."
What's red and runs up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
Why did the bat fall out of the tree?
It couldn’t hang in there.
A bear walks into a bar and asks the barkeep, "Can I have a grilled . . . cheese?"
The barkeep asks the bear, "What's with the big pause?" The bear says, "Well, I'm a bear."
How did people know the 9/11 victims had a lot of dandruff?
Their head and shoulders were all over New York City!
What’s the best part about banging twenty-eight year olds? There are twenty of them.
What did the cheetah tell the other cheetah when they had a test?
"Cheetah, cheetah!"
What's the difference between Vikkstar and a tree?
Nothing. They're both hollow on the inside and brown on the outside.
How many thumbs down can this joke get?
Joke: Runescape, mustard, tits, Pamela Anderson.
An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away.
if you throw it hard enough.
I didn't trip and fall... I attacked the floor, and I believe I am winning :3