What do you call a smart egg? An egghead.
That was an egg-cellent joke!
Joke Jokes
So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend.
Her boyfriend said "Hi."
I said, "Knife to meet you!"
What is the one spray that can kill midgets? Bug spray.
Alec is bad at League?
Jokes, Jarid is, haha!
A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian responds with, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back!"
What does Germany and the rest of the world have in common? They both use gases to poison one thing or another.
Abortion is not a joke.
I was going to walk to Verizon, but I decided to Sprint over to T-Mobile instead.
billie: hi.
me: You wanna hear a story?
billie: Yes, sure.
me: Once upon a time, I ran over your dog last night.
Why don't people play hide-and-seek in the number 4?
Because it would take forever. Get it? "For-ever" and "4" four, so "four ever."
What do you call an octopus with a hat?
An octopus with a hat, of course.
How do you get a clown off your swing?
You shoot it.
The irony of metal jokes is pretty fun. But it leads to a lot of people stealing them.
What do you call someone with a small dick... whoever is reading this 😉
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex, sex, sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
I love how all these jokes about different accidents have happened, but why isn't anyone writing about how much of an accident we all were?
Why should you never fart in an Apple store?
Because they have no Windows!
I have a skeleTON of jokes, but none of them are very humorous.
Ur mom.
What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?
A cliffhanger.