Job

Job jokes

Sensei

    • Boss: Can I do a reference check?

    Me: I don’t have a...

    *sensei appears*

    Me: oh no

    Sensei: He was a good student, but he lacked kizma.

    Boss: What's kiz...

    Sensei:😈

    Me: Oh no, here we go.

    Sensei: Kizma AS-

    Interview

    • I was being interviewed by Elon Musk. He asked, "Where are you from?" and I said Portugal. He replied, "So you are a fellow countryman of a Pen merchant whose freekick ball broke my rover on Mars. Get out!!" Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Penaldo, for costing me my dream job!

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    • Month

    • I get paid more than $200 to $400 per hour for working online. I heard about this job 3 months ago, and after joining this, I have earned easily $30k from this without having online working skills. Simply give it a shot on the accompanying site...

    Here is I started.............>> fixpay1.blogspot.com

    Job memes

    Pilot

    • So, I was getting on a plane, and the pilot does his usual speech talking about altitude and what not with the microphone, and he forgets to turn it off, so after the speech I heard him and the co-pilot talking about what they were doing after work, and whatnot.

    Then the pilot said he was dying for a blowjob and a coffee, so a stewardess ran to the pilots cabin, and then left about 15 minutes later, and the pilot shouted "Next time don't forget the coffee!"

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    • Tour Guide

    • As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way.

    Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice.

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    • Dog

    • A teenage girl got a summer job dogsitting for a gigantic English Mastiff. She spent hours with the dog, and walked a little funny when she got home.

    "What are you doing all day?"

    "Knot a lot."

    Orphanage

    • I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.

    Mirror

    • At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”

    I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”

    Orphan

    • Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.

    One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.

    Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.

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    • Pregnancy

    • When a woman is something weeks or months pregnant and her stomach has a visible bump, everyone rubs her tummy, but no one tickles the husband's balls and says, "Good job, buddy!"

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