Job Jokes

I just got a job at the prison library.

It has its prose and cons.

How did the security guard at the orchid get better at his job? He got an Apple Watch.

I hate these double standards.

If you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job". If you do it at home you're "destroying evidence".

I saw a little kid crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at an orphanage.

I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.

I'd tell you a joke about unemployed people, but none of them work.

If I'm the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a guardian of the galaxy?

My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?”

I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”

Why did the orphan become a stripper?

So she could have someone to call daddy.

I've just been fired from the clock-making factory after all those extra hours I put in.

Funny thing happened today, my dad came home from work which is weird cause he’s a suicide bomber.

I seriously don't get why people in Alabama are angered that Mexican immigrants are taking their jobs. I mean, it's not like they are preventing your son from giving you a big, fat blow job.

Once I saw a girl crying and asked, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at orphanages.

My grief counselor died today. He did such a great job. I don't even care.

I have many jokes about unemployed people, but sadly, none of them seemed to have worked.

Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? He took a day off.

I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home, there were signs everywhere.

When a mute girl gives a hand job, is it oral?

I feel bad for the people who died in 2001. Those poor terrorists died doing their job.

I got a job as a pencil sharpener. I would tell you about it, but you wouldn't get the point.