Job

Job Jokes

Double Standard

I hate these double standards.

If you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job". If you do it at home you're "destroying evidence".

Orphanage

I saw a little kid crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at an orphanage.

Guardian

If I'm the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a guardian of the galaxy?

Train Driver

My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?”

I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”

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  • Orphan

    Why did the orphan become a stripper?

    So she could have someone to call daddy.

    Factory

    I've just been fired from the clock-making factory after all those extra hours I put in.

  • 3
  • Dad

    Funny thing happened today, my dad came home from work which is weird cause he’s a suicide bomber.

    Blow job

    I seriously don't get why people in Alabama are angered that Mexican immigrants are taking their jobs. I mean, it's not like they are preventing your son from giving you a big, fat blow job.

    Orphanage

    Once I saw a girl crying and asked, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at orphanages.

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  • Sign

    I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home, there were signs everywhere.

    Terrorist

    I feel bad for the people who died in 2001. Those poor terrorists died doing their job.