Job jokes

I just got a job at the prison library.

It has its prose and cons.

How did the security guard at the orchid get better at his job? He got an Apple Watch.

I hate these double standards.

If you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job". If you do it at home you're "destroying evidence".

I saw a little kid crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at an orphanage.

I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.

I'd tell you a joke about unemployed people, but none of them work.

If I'm the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a guardian of the galaxy?

Why did the orphan become a stripper?

So she could have someone to call daddy.

My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?”

I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”

I've just been fired from the clock-making factory after all those extra hours I put in.

Funny thing happened today, my dad came home from work which is weird cause he’s a suicide bomber.

I seriously don't get why people in Alabama are angered that Mexican immigrants are taking their jobs. I mean, it's not like they are preventing your son from giving you a big, fat blow job.

Once I saw a girl crying and asked, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at orphanages.

My grief counselor died today. He did such a great job. I don't even care.

I have many jokes about unemployed people, but sadly, none of them seemed to have worked.

I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home, there were signs everywhere.

Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? He took a day off.

When a mute girl gives a hand job, is it oral?

Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?

It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.

I got a job as a pencil sharpener. I would tell you about it, but you wouldn't get the point.