Job jokes

What do you call a blind photographer? A waste of money.

My family is lucky I was born so smart. Every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.

I'm a pilot and my boss told me to fly people to New York, so I flew them to New York and hit the towers. That was a tragic story.

I got a new job at a trampoline park the other day. If I’m being honest, it’s got its ups and downs.

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?

He just needed a little space.

I used to be a baker, but I decided to quit my job and stick my dough inside WOMEN’S bakeries.

What’s the best part of having sex with a pregnant woman?

You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.

What is the difference between kinky and perverted?

Kinky is when an abled-bodied gay male is receiving an anonymous blow job from a physically disabled gay male under the handicapped stall at a rest area.

Perverted is when an abled-bodied gay male has to give a Klondike Bar to a physically disabled gay male to receive an anonymous blow job under the handicapped stall at a rest area.

What do you call an Indian babysitter?

Nanny.

How did the carpenter do on his interview? He nailed it!

Yo mama so ugly, Bloody Mary handed her an application through the mirror.

Me: Have you seen a Mr. Weewoo?

Most people: No.

Me: He drives the ambulance downstairs.

What do you call an Indian gravedigger?

Digdeep.

To a Mexican person: When I first met you, I thought you were going to say, "My name is Enrique, I have a job for you."

Why don't cheetahs say goodbye?

Because they are not going to work.

Kid: Hi.

Janitor: Wtf you want, kid?

Kid: Why are you rude?

Janitor: 'Cause I have a shitty job.

I have a ton of work to do... A skele-TON.

My friend's daughter is taking a job in California parking cars. She says she wants to be a valet girl. For sure. For sure.

As I grow older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe tour guide wasn't the right career choice for me...

I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application. I asked him to show me his skills and experience, but he just started diving and asking for pens and tap-ins. I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.