Job jokes

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?

He just needed a little space.

What do you call an Indian babysitter?

Nanny.

Why don't cheetahs say goodbye?

Because they are not going to work.

Kid: Hi.

Janitor: Wtf you want, kid?

Kid: Why are you rude?

Janitor: 'Cause I have a shitty job.

To a Mexican person: When I first met you, I thought you were going to say, "My name is Enrique, I have a job for you."

What do you call an Indian gravedigger?

Digdeep.

Me: Have you seen a Mr. Weewoo?

Most people: No.

Me: He drives the ambulance downstairs.

I have a ton of work to do... A skele-TON.

Yo mama so ugly, Bloody Mary handed her an application through the mirror.

How did the carpenter do on his interview? He nailed it!

My friend's daughter is taking a job in California parking cars. She says she wants to be a valet girl. For sure. For sure.

As I grow older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe tour guide wasn't the right career choice for me...

I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application. I asked him to show me his skills and experience, but he just started diving and asking for pens and tap-ins. I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.

I saw a kid crying, so I asked them where their parents were.

God, I love working at an orphanage!

Just because you have a career in the North doesn't mean you are North Korean.

Got fired from the bank yesterday.

They caught me drinking on the job.

I've got a job defusing landmines.

It's difficult, but hopefully soon I'll find my feet.

Why is there only a glory hole in the handicapped stall in some public men's restrooms?

Because a gay man that is not physically handicapped can't receive a blow job from a gay man that is physically handicapped under the handicapped stall.

Bob the builder.

As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way.

Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice.