Jesus Jokes

HELP! I MIGHT BE A RELIGOUS EXTREMIST. BECAUSE MY RHYMES ARE DA BOMB.

why did jesus die a the diving olympics? because he cant go through wter

So can we agree that Jesus was the first victim of cancel culture?

"Jesus can turn water into wine,but I can turn your mother into mine " -Sun Tzu the art of creating war

What’s the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus? You only need 1 nail to hang a painting

When God made Chinese he said "DON'T LOOK!" and the chinese said "why?" and God replied "You wont want to be fruitful and multiply if you saw where you are putting that thing"

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

When God made White Man he said "NEVER SHUT YOUR EYES" and the white man said "Why?" and God replied "You need to keep an eye out for the Chinese, one day they will out number you"

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

Then the white man said "there is a white genocide!"

And the survivors of the holocaust said "all these europeans killed each other so a white genocide is accurate, white killed white"

Then the Chinese said "thank you we take your land now"

And the Jews said "but we are God's chosen people!"

And the Chinese said "yes every time God show up you get bullied! you might want to worship someone else!"

And the Jews said "why are you chinese so lucky, you can't even see, you blind!"

And the chinese said "Jesus say be in the world not of the world, so dont go looky looky at the world then"

It turned out the chinese are very obediant to God.

When you have erectile dysfunction it could be expressed as the leaning tower of Pisa.

When God make white people he said "FUCK I'M OUT OF PAINT"

What's the difference between a gun and a penis? The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.

What is white, blue eyed, blonde haired and somehow was made in galilee during the roman occupation? An Itallian Renaissance painting that was carbon dated

What's the difference between the Christ and Anti-Christ? The romans put sugar syrup on the second one.

why do Animators like Christianity? Because Jesus was the one who invented T-Pose

adam and eve had 3 male children, the only children on earth, how did they reproduce?

Jesus was drinking when he made you.

You are so ugly when the devil saw u he said Jesus Christ

My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends Chad just murdered his wife Claire and after doing that he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after My moms reply: Jesus Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess won’t he

Jesus isn't real