Jesus Jokes

Anonymous

Jesus was the one who created the t pose. not fortnite

Jumpy

Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”

Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.

“Jesus Christ almighty!” shouts Molly.

“Correct,” says the teacher.

The next day the teacher asks, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”

Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack’s pencil.

“Jesus Christ almighty!” she shouts.

“Correct again,” says the teacher.

The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.

This time the teacher asks her, “What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?”

Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams “If you stick that thing in me one more time I’m going to crack it in half!”

My friend showed me his broken finger and i said JESUS, he said his name is Jake

Yo Mom

Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”

Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.

“Jesus Christ almighty!” shouts Molly.

“Correct,” says the teacher.

The next day the teacher asks, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”

Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack’s pencil.

“Jesus Christ almighty!” she shouts.

“Correct again,” says the teacher.

The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.

This time the teacher asks her, “What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?”

Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams “If you stick that thing in me one more time I’m going to crack it in half!”

The teacher fainted

I have one policy and that is to not make fun of black people. Sorry jesus. You were white in the bible pictures.

Jesus got rejected. A few years later he died. He came back just to lose his virginity because even jesus is not a fucking cunt.

Jesus got rejected. A few years later he died. He came back just to lose his virginity because even jesus is not a fucking cunt. Get off this site and go have some sex you fucking virgins.

Lovely perv

Man 1: why don’t we just put all the dept in the world on one man then kill him? Man 2: we tried that once it started a cult

Alanah

Why did Jesus play football

He was Spanish ayo

Death&Decay

Cheesus hates me yeah I know cause he’s a real douchelord fictional character

Alanah

When did Jesus die

On luan day hahahahahahahahahahahahaha LOUD HOUSE wink wink

amogh

Did jesus die a virgin? ofc not you idiot he got nailed before he died!

Anonymous

What is the difference between jesus and the devil? When the devil came to earth he was the one with the nail gun.

Anonymous

in the movie cars 2,there is a priest which means car Jesus died for the sins of the cars

Anonymous

They say Jesus walked on water. That’s nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.

Onlytwentyoneletters

One day a man dies and goes to heaven. He gets there and sees a bunch of clocks. He asks Jesus, “Hey what are the clocks for?” Jesus replies, “They move every time you sin.” “This is Mother Teresa’s, It has not moved so she has not sinned.” “This one is Abraham Lincoln’s, It has moved twice so he sinned twice.” “The man asks, Where is Joe Biden’s?” Jesus replies, “It’s in my office- I’m using it as a ceiling fan.”

Anonymous
in Hairline

Yo Hairline so far back it goes back to Jesus on the cross

What is Jesus’s Favorite Exercise?

Cross Fit