Jail

Jail jokes

Prison

    • I was taking a walk near the prison when I saw a good looking guy climbing down the fence, and when he noticed me, he gave me a sneer! It was pretty condescending.

    Crime

    • What's up guys! Quandale Dingle here (RUUEHEHEHEHEHEEHE). I have been arrested for multiple crimes (AHHHHHHHHHHHHH) including: Battery on a police officer (WHAT), Grand theft, Declaring war on Italy, and public indecency (RUHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE x2 speed).

    I will be escaping prison on, MARCH 28TH! After that I will take over the worl[d].

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    • Inmate

    • The inmates are yelling 12...12...12... in the courtyard.

    A man walking by is interested why the keep chanting 12...12...12... so he sticks his head through the fence and the inmate poked the man in the eye.

    Moment later they start chanting 13...13...13...

    Jail memes

    Pedophile

    • What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? Before the first period starts.

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    • Antenna

    • These are all of my terrible jokes.

    Two antennas met on a roof, they fell in love and got married. The ceremony was alright, but the reception was amazing.

    A jumper cable walks into a bar and the bartender said, "I'll serve you but don't start anything."

    A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

    Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says, "Does this taste funny to you? I'm joking of course!"

    Dejamoo: the feeling that you've heard this bull before.

    A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident and said to the doctor "I can't feel my legs." The doctor said, "I know, I amputated your arms!"

    I went to seafood disco last week, I pulled a muscle.

    What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

    Two fish swim into a concrete wall, one says, "Dam!"

    A mystic dwarf escapes from a jail, the call went out for a "small medium at large."

    A man walks into a bar with solid tar under his arm, he says, "A beer please, and one for the road."

    Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The p is silent.

    Yo mama so fat that she should be worried, diabetes is a serious problem.

    What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, duh.

    A priest, a rabbi, and a cleric walk into a bar. The cleric, due to his religious constructions, does not drink alcohol. The others do the same, they have a pleasant fun and nothing bad happens.

    What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

    I remember the last words my grandad said before he kicked the bucket, "How far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

    A man walks into a bar, his alcohol independence is pulling this family apart.

    I like my coffee like my women, on sometimes with a penis.

    A man is working at a bar, a money comes in and orders a banana martini. The man wakes up and tells his story to his wife, he is ignored and he turns around sobbing. His marriage is falling apart.

    Why didn't Jesus play hockey? Soccer and baseball are more popular in Mexico.

    What's green and has wheels? Grass, the wheels were a lie.

    What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have wheels except the duck.

    Why couldn't the dinosaur break the wall? I don't know. I'm asking you.

    Why did the old woman put rainbow roller skates on her walker? She has dementia.

    There are an owl and a squirrel watching a farmer go by, they owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing. It's an owl it can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because the owl is a bird of prey.

    Chief

    • Why did the chief go to jail?

    Because he beat the eggs and whipped the cream!

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