Jail jokes

This is a joke to tell to someone with you or something. SOMEONE will laugh. Say: "This word isn't gonna be funny until I tell you, your probably not going to laugh." *your friend* "what's the word?" *you* "finger" *friend* *dies of laughter*. *note* it works better if you wiggle your finger or something before and not everyone laughs, so don't feel bad if they don't. Also, don't be surprised if you get put in jail for murder, because you're going to kill someone with this.

What's a convict's favorite chore?

Weeding.

Why did Michael Jackson go to jail? He was feeling a little Randy.

what do you call a drunken sailer?

arrested.

Q: Why did the cat get arrested?

A: He was caught littering.

Ejaculated in her braces, call that children behind bars.

What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle?

My girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.

Why was the Human Torch arrested?

He had firearms.

Hi, everyone. Serious question. Would it be illegal to decapitate a worm? Asking for a friend, he's so worried we're going to jail. I'm not. I'm fine. Please reply fast.

Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to.

Unless you are in prison.

Today sucked. My friend fell off a cliff, and I went to jail.

How do prisoners call each other? Cell phones.

What's a prisoner's favorite game?

Hangman!

What happens when a battery commits a crime? They get charged!

What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner? A kong-vict.

Me going to jail for telling the orphan he has 363 days because mothers and Father’s Day.

My boss said she would've loved to meet Bill Cosby as a child. I don't get why I'm getting arrested. I was just making sure his dream came true.

The devil's number is 346 because you will be in jail.

Yo momma decided to go to KFC until she realized she had to share with her family, so she bought ten buckets and the cashier said, "Here is the receipt." Now yo momma got afraid of how much money she had to spend, despiting on how she spent more than Drake's net worth that he can even lend. She went back home seeing her family looking at her and the KFC, thinking that could be her rent, but the whole family dug into the food. By the second they see the plates empty and seeing the lazy mom steady, she ate so much she wasn't ready until she fell, which caused an earthquake, which made her go to jail, which caused her to be scary.

What’s the difference between prison and concentration camps?

At least you don’t die when you shower.