Girl: "Hey, why don't you come over?"
Guy: "I can't. Cops are looking for me, they say I killed 2 people."
Girl: "C'mon, my parents aren't home."
Guy: "About that..."
If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence.
What’s the difference between jail and my basement?
Some people are let out of jail.
What is the difference between giving money to a church and giving money to the IRS?
If you stop giving money to a church, you won't go to prison.
Some people think "prison" is one word, but to robbers, it's a whole sentence.
What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? Before the first period starts.
A prisoner was told how he'll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.
What did the pedophile say when he got out of prison?
I feel like a kid again.
What was the pedophile charged with when he was arrested? A minor offense.
Why did Yoda go to jail for rape?
He doesn't get consent; he just uses the force.
What is a prisoner's favorite punctuation?
A period.
Why?
Because it marks the end of a sentence.
How do you escape a French prison?
Yell angrily in German!
My brother is ugly. One time he stuck his head out the window. The police arrested for mooning.
What's the hardest thing about being a rapist?
My dick.
What's the difference between an escaped prisoner and an orphan?
Only one is wanted.
I was blessed with a 9 inch penis.
The priest is in jail now.
Why do orphans wanna be a criminal?
So that they can be wanted.
How do you know when a football player has been to jail?
When he goes in a tight end and comes out a wide receiver.
What did the cop say after he shot the ginger?
"I guess orange is the new black."
I was blessed with a 9-inch dick. Fair to say that priest is in jail now.
