Jack

Jack jokes

Water

  • Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water.

    WHERE DO THEY REALLY GO BECAUSE WATER CAN NOT BE AT THE TOP OF A HILL!?. I honestly think that only people with a physics degree can make nursery rhythms.

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  • Name

  • If your name is Jack, I think you are a stupid person that leaves their friends and blocks them on everything.

    Jill

  • Jack and Jill went up the hill.

    Jack fell down, his ass was bound, and Jill continued up the hill.

    Jack came back and beat Jill's back, and he got the ultimate kill.

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  • Whore

  • Jack and Jill went up a hill, each with a buck and a quarter.

    Jill came down, and she had two-fifty! Oh, what a whore! (Andrew Dice Clay joke.)

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  • Bladder

  • Jack and Jill went down to hell to fetch your mother's bladder.

    Her bladder broke. You two are soaked, and now you have a daughter, 'cause in that bladder was me!

  • 4
  • Pill

  • Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and have some fun.

    Silly Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son.

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  • Game

  • If you are friendly on a game, should I will kill you in the game? You should say, "Will, if you did kill me, I will tell my more friendly to ban you from the game." The friendly should [ask], "What you got?" Friendly on the game [replies], "Jack, you are not my friendly, the all friendly you be ban, if you don't get it, will have fun." If you don't like the text, I am come for you. Ok, now like it, the end.

    Name

  • Two guys are on a plane. One of the guys' name is Jack. The other is Peter.

    Peter: "Hi Jack."

    Flight Attendant: "You're going to hijack the plane?!?"

    Jack: "No, my name is Ja-"

    Flight Attendant: "Everybody stay calm! These two men are going to hijack the plane!"

    Jack: "No, no. My name is Jack and my friend here is an idiot."

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  • Pig

  • The teacher asked the class what sound does a cow make? "Mooo," said Sally. "Good job," said the teacher. "What sound does a sheep make?" "Baa," said Jack. "Good, now what sound does a pig make?" Little Johnny raised his hand really high in the sky. The teacher called on him. He said, "The pig says, 'Get on the ground and put your hands on your head, you black motherfucker.'"

    Day

  • A day in the life of a Biden voter.

    $2000 stimulus check? Nah, $1400...some day.

    No more kids in cages? Nah, more kids in cages.

    $15 minimum wage? Nah, $11. Maybe.

    50k loan forgiveness? Nah. Lol.

    No more deportations? Nah, they're still leaving.

    Women's rights? Nah, dudes in women's sports.

    New COVID bill? Nah, mostly bailouts and pet projects.

    Cheap insulin? Nah, jack those prices up.

    Defeat fascism? Nah, barbed wire fences around DC.

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  • Jack and Jill

  • We're gonna have to kill

    no good Jack and Jill.

    They’re draining the economy doooown!

    They’ve spent our budget on weed

    and lube to spill Jack’s seed.

    They’ve ruined our wonderful town!

    We're gonna have to kill

    no good Jack and Jill.

    They have no moralityyyy.

    They’re spreading degeneracy.

    We ain't what we used to be.

    We’ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill!

    Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water,

    but then they stopped at the tippy top to smoke some marijuana.

    They went to the store, and got some more, to fetch a “few” more beers.

    Next day they came, ran off again, repeat for 24 years.

    We’re gonna have to kill

    no good Jack and Jill!

    They’ve banked off buying boooze!

    They’ll drink and sell the price

    at the original times thrice.

    Corruption wins, the avg. folk’ll loseee.

    We’re gonna have to kill

    no good Jack and Jill.

    Their kids’re in the business tooo!

    They’re draining all our banks.

    Give 'em well deserved spanks.

    We’ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill.

    Jack and Jill Netflix and chilled and made a grave mistaake.

    What a blunder, there was no rubber, now they’re a house of eeiiight!

    A bolt went off, they opened shop to resell their porn and lean.

    It all went swell, but for us, well, we’re now an oligarchy!

    WE’LL KILL OL' JACK AND JILL!

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  • Game

  • There's a new game in the arcade where kids can hit raging paedophiles with a mallet: Whack-A-Jack, oh!

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  • Virus

  • "Jack and Jill went home because he was sick because of the virus in town, gave him a frown, and his arms were pricked."

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