IV

IV Jokes

Skeleton

Here are some skeleton jokes.

You know the average person tries too hard and works himself to the bone.

If that joke didn't tickle your funny bone, I can give you a real humorous joke.

I used to play the trumpet, now I play the xylo-bone.

I'm always happy; nothing gets under my skin.

I made you some turkey for lunch. Bone appetit!

I'm glad I had you; I'm no longer bonely.

I've got a skele-ton of more jokes, but I'm just giving you one more.

Did you hear about the skeleton ninja? He was very skullful (skillful)!

Morning

GOOD MORNING USA!!!! I GOT A FEELING THAT IVE SEEN A FUCKIN NlGGER TODAY!!!

Meme

You know what's crazy? Is that the low taper fade, like, meme, is still MASSIVE. Still MASSIVE. Like, I'm still seeing like, new ones, that I've never seen before, and they're getting millions of likes and millions of views.

Abortion

Once I told an abortion joke and this woman was like, "I've had an abortion, that's offensive." And I was like, "I just tell jokes, I think what you do is much worse."

Memes

Cop

Officer: Hi, how high are you?

Pothead: No officer, it's "how are you?"

Officer: Oh, I'm sorry, I've been high since last night.

Pothead: Cool, I'd like to give you some weed, happy 420, sir.

Officer: Omg, thanks man, appreciate that.

Wife

My Indian wife said last night if her fanny would taste like vindaloo curry, I said I've smelt your fucking armpits, you've got no chance.

Shooter

The school shooter when the cops show up be like:

"Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, ain't nothing gonna hold me down. Oh oh. I've got to keep on moving."

Sex

Dear doctor,

I've heard it's a good sign when women scream your first name during sex, but recently women have been screaming my full name. It's weird, I feel like I'm famous. Can you tell me what this means?

Yours Truly, Ray Palp

Monster

Alright, I'm gonna drink the lo-carb one to see how it compares to the normal Monster.

Holy shit, it tastes just like the original one.

There's like a weird after taste though.

Kinda like a sparkling water one.

I love Monster. I've drank about 5 cans already.

Work

I've done a skele-TON of work to think of this joke. Trust me, I've got a FEW more jokes!

Twin Towers

I've been sad recently that the Twin Towers aren't around, so I made the conclusion to build a time machine to watch it again.

Orphanage

I've heard stories of my mother. She was a teenager and left me in the blender, but luckily the power cut out, like at the orphanage.

Ash

I've had conversations with many people. Some of them were drier than my dad's ashes.

John Cena

Asian conversation:

Person 1: Ni hao, how's it going?

Person 2: Konnichiwa, what's up?

Person 1: I've bing chilling.

Knight

As ruler of a kingdom, I wanted a knight. Duke Leo Pessi IV offered himself but wanted a wife in return. I offered my beautiful daughter to him. However, he slapped her and proceeded to wreck my castle. All this whilst crying “I don’t want princess, I want farmer!”

DAMN YOU PESSI!

Skeleton

What did the skeleton say to the other skeleton? "I've got a bone to pick with you!"

That was a real rib tickler. I've got a skele-TON more of the skele-PUNS!

Boyfriend

Alright ALYA and drew ALYA's boyfriend!! Have a good fucking life, I hardly even think drew is real but uk whatever I've passed on but DREW if u fucking wanna beef, I'll fight u bro, ur prob a stick, I'm fucking doing push ups 4 times a week 100 each.