it's jokes

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't coming.

What’s better than swinging a dead baby in circles over your head with a 5 foot rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

After a suicide joke say, "Don't leave me hanging, or I'll cut it out."

How do you make a Tico dance? You put a little boogie in it.

Two artists had an art contest. It ended in a draw.

So, I know that there are a lot of egg yolks on this website, and I guess I got beat to it, but I'm eggcited to say eggsactly what the eggs say.

I know I'm bad at this, but I hope you will crack up anyway.

Wow, you did 10 chin-ups? Was it 1 for each chin?

When does it rain money?

When there's a change in the weather.

Yo hairline is too pushed back, looking like it got slapped up by Will Smith.

Why do people say "cheese" when they are taking a photo?

Because they were using the computer and thought about it.

I molested a child today, and it felt quite lovely on my penis! 👍

Why do orphans love to play family?

Because it's the closest they will be to being normal.

"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.

If you watch Jaws backwards, it's a heartwarming story about a shark that gives arms and legs to disabled people.

Guy 1: Why is my cat so angry?

Guy 2: Because she wants to eat your big sausage.

Guy 1: Don't you?

Guy 2: Yeah, it seems delicious.

Guy 1: Mmm, so... w-wait what are you doing? I didn't think you meant the one in my lunch :< Where are you leaving #_#

**Meow...**

Guy 1: Shut up, I will never feed you this sausage. It's not for you :< -_- </3

Yo mama so fat it took her 3 seconds to cross the Great Wall of China.

Q: What's the difference between a fetus and an onion?

A: One makes you cry when you chop it into pieces.

*Coughs roughly* Oh my God, it hurts so much. I can't see. It burns! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! *Weakly*

A man died and went to heaven. Here he met Jesus. There were two clocks. The man asked, "What's with the clocks?" Jesus answered, "This is Mother Theresa's clock. She has not lied, so the clock hasn't moved. This is Abraham Lincoln's clock; he's only lied twice, so it's moved twice." "Where's Donald Trump's?" the man asked. Jesus replied: "It's in my office. I'm using it as a ceiling fan."

I am trying to re-comment something that used to be on here, but is no longer on here.

Here are some rules to make a good joke:

1: Don't say “my life.”

2: Proofread your joke and make sure people can read it/have good grammar in it.

3: And don’t repost things (although this last one is hypocritical because this was me trying to repost something, but it is still a good rule to go by).