it's jokes

You're so fat, when you went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."

Guys, don’t suck your own dick, it does not feel like your dick is being sucked, it feels like you're sucking a dick.

You're so fat that when you stepped on a scale, it said, "To be continued..."

Why did the blind man get killed? Because he never saw it coming.

I was playing Fortnite with a kid, then I heard their emo sister in the background, and it sounded like they were playing Fortnite, too, with the pistol shot and all.

Your hairline looks like it got burnt in the Civil War.

I told a disabled kid to get in my van. Well, it’s been two years, and he still hasn’t gotten into the van.

Why is your hairline so put back it's looking like it was slapped by Will Smith and it needs to be fixed?

I crashed into the back of a car at the lights today.

A really short guy got out of it and said, “I’m not happy.”

I said, “Well, which one are you then?”

I wish all my grass was emo.

It would cut itself.

My country is so corrupt that it voted me as the most sexiest man.

Victory assured, I will continue like that till I'm six feet under.

What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up!

They’d probably get shellshocked, wasn’t it all eggcellent? Ok, Ok, I’m headed for the egg-it.

Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.

I asked my phone why I couldn't get a date.

It showed a picture of myself.

You wonder where my dad is.

Meanwhile, Dad: It's good to be at milk island!

A guy is at his locker, and a girl comes and says, "Hey, I love you."

He says, "Okay, cool." She then replies and says, "Well, what do you think about our love?" He says, "Count the stars."

Then she says, "Oh, infinity!" and he replies with, "Nope, it's just a waste of time."

Your forehead is so big it drips pickle juice!

A man walks into a bar. The man says, "Why the human face?" It's not funny at all.

Let's stop this, it's not funny. Oh wait, the orphans are all gone with nobody. 😂

I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and eat it.

Bob, why are you kicking the kids?

What, it's not like they have a home to go to.