it's jokes
What do you call a cow that has stuff growing on it?
Mosscow
What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench?
The bench can support its family.
What do you call a hill with cows on it?
A Moo-ntain.
Life is like a penis. Other people make it hard.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.
How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.
What are four ways a condom is like a Republican elephant?
1. It stands for inflation.
2. It limits production.
3. It encourages cooperation.
4. It gives you a feeling of security even though you know you're being screwed.
Once I heard a joke about chocolate the other day. It wasn't that funny. So I just Snickered.
What did the British soldiers say while in the trenches? "Damn, it's windy out here!"
Your hairline looks like someone tried to erase it using Microsoft Paint.
Please follow me at Mary.cristal03 on TikTok.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Really, there is an answer, and he never made it across, so...
I looked up "I have whiplash" on WebMD, and it diagnosed me with slavery.
So I was on Google, and on my computer it had Windows. When Stephen Hawking died, it shut down, the shutdown sound played, and wouldn't turn on again.
Why is Saturn richer than other planets?
It has a ring!
What did the sand say when it got into a fight with the ocean?
"Oh my God, you're such a beach!"
This is why orphans are dangerous with cardboard. They either start eating it or making it into a house and hallucinating that they have a family.
So I threw out the cardboard and said, "You have to stay in reality. Fantasies aren't real. You can't and will never get a home."
Next day, they make cardboard parents, so I threw that away and said, "Pay attention to reality; you will never get parents."
Next day, they start acting like parents and tell me what to do. Again, I said, "Snap to reality. You will never be a parent!" The orphan responded with, "Oh, really?! How so?" I just simply said, "You don't have a house and parents. You literally like eating cardboard, and then you make parents out of it. You like to eat old people!"
How many dead strippers does it take to change a light?
At least 13 because my basement is still dark.
A chemical store burned down, and the firefighter just stood there, but at the end, the store fire just went out by itself. But the store owner still got angry.
Store owner: Why didn't you take out the fire?
Firefighter: Yeah, but it went out by itself.
Store owner: But still, why?
Firefighter: Your chemical store sells H20.
Store owner: Oh, I get it now!
Why doesn't Helen Keller's kid have ears? She gave it its first haircut!
Q: What season can an orphan see their family tree?
A: Fall.
If you don't get it, in the fall trees have no leaves, there [are] just empty branches, like an orphan's tree.