it's jokes
Why can't you buy an iPhone X?
It's too expensive.
When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:
"Enjoy the little things."
Why did the scarecrow get an award? He was outstanding in his field. Okay, I'll admit it's corny.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Figs.
Figs who?
Fix the door, it's broken!
Q: Why can't skeletons go to the dance?
A: He doesn't have the guts for it.
A letter to all Math:
Dear Math,
Grow up and solve your own problems!
2x6= DO IT YOURSELF!!!!
Me, holding a baby: "Oh my God, it's so cute!"
Also me: "Throw it."
Is your refrigerator running? "Yeah, I guess." Well, you better go catch it! Haha, I'm a girl, it's funny!
Want to hear my pencil joke? Wait, I'm still writing it.
I tried to eat a clock the other day.
It was very time consuming.
Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-
Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Phew, it's hot in here." The other muffin says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"
Why can’t you run in a campground?
Because it’s past tents.
An Irish man walks out of a bar. It can happen.
I have a saying. Whenever you find a sink, there's probably a dead baby inside it...
Could it be ligma?
Ligma balls, daddy!
Is your body from McDonald's, because I'm loving it?
Did you hear about the shark that ate a key shop?
I think it got lockjaw after that.
Q: Why is it fun to hit an orphan?
A: Who are they going to tell, their parents?
The QUEEN took a shit at the poker table. It was a ROYAL FLUSH.