it's jokes
"It's Sunday evening!"
"No. It's Monday eve."
When Elsa said, "Let it go," you took it too seriously and let go of your hairline.
What has to be broken before you can use it?
Answer: An egg.
An old lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her off the edge without knowing it was her cash she wanted to check, so I died to help her!
I put peanut butter on my asshole so the dog would lick it, but instead I got bit by ants.
Dark humor is like food; some people get it, others don't...
Why is a white guy in prison scarier than a black guy in prison?
The white guy actually did it.
How do you cause an African parade?
You just carry a water bottle around and hold it up!
It’s Christmas and Sally has a gift. She got a Barrie. Just kidding, she still hasn’t opened it.
A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."
Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."
So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.
Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"
The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."
Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Wanna go ride a bike?
How do you fit 4 gay dudes on a stool?
Flip it upside down.
If I flip off an Asian person, he can't see it.
It puts a whole new spin on meals on wheels. No pun intended.
If you are talking to an Indian and notice a red dot appear on their forehead, be careful of what you said... They are recording it down... Careful... (no offense) pure joke.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it had its ion someone else.
When the school shooter says to get on the ground, but the sped kid thinks it's Simon Says!
I asked my doctor if it was normal for one of my nuts to be bigger than the other two.
Why is the homeless homeless?
Because it's homeless.
How do you make an octopus laugh?
You give it ten tickles.