it's jokes

I was going to make a 9/11 joke, but I'm afraid it will crash and burn.

I would tell you a cat pun, but it's too purr-fect to share.

If a sped is late for class, is it wrong to call them tardy?

History teacher: "They had a temporary cure for the disease, but it would be years before they found a cure for life."

Student: "I need that."

Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I'm so good that I can do it with my eyes closed.

I went to a muffler party... it was exhausting!

Wanna hear a skeleton joke?

Sorry, I don't have the guts to tell it.

How do you stop a baby from crawling on the floor?

Nail one hand to the ground...

How do you stop it from crawling in circles? Nail the other hand to the floor.

I ate some gunpowder once. It was an exploding experience.

I made a website for orphans the other day... it doesn’t have a home page.

My parents told me that when they had sex, it was absolutely shambles.

Thankfully, it turned out that they were real balls.

I once met a skeleton. I asked if I could tell him a joke. He agreed. I told it to him. He found it quite “humerus”.

Hey girl, is that an ass seen on TV, 'cause I'd buy it.

Why do they call it oven, when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food?

If Pete and Chasten Buttigieg had a baby together, it would be a turd covered in semen.

What’s the difference between toilet paper and a curtain?

So, it was you....

Your mama's so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "To be continued."

You should wear binoculars when calculating. It helps divide.

Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind, it's tear-able.

Teacher: Jeff, why did you throw a paper plane at the twins?

Jeff: You wouldn't get it, miss.