it's jokes

When the washer started running, why did you join me?

Because I had to catch it.

What does a bird say when it gets sick?

I flu!

I heard my neighbors having sex, and it was annoying me, so I called my girlfriend to ask if she wanted to go out, but when I called her, I heard my neighbors' phone ringing.

What runs but does not walk? It's water.

Hey, I asked for a paper, but I thought it was a cut, but it turns out it was tearable.

And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol, but if I were you, I wouldn’t kiss your mom on the mouth at all.

I think if the center of the earth froze, it would be pretty hard core.

Why was the skeleton sad at the dance?

Because it had "no body" to go with.

Is your oven running?

Then you better go catch it!

What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?

An ingestigation.

I read a sign. What it meant to say is, "You matter, don't give up." What I read was, "You don't matter, give up."

Your hairline is like a lollipop because every time someone licks it, it gets shorter.

How many East Asians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Tu.

Are you interested in it?

More than two boot branches.

This is two heads.

Deaf. "Deep water." ""

- "78 years."

Are you interested again? ""

"If you go ... you are there."

"No. 85 is good."

What is the most important value? It does not take cheese.

It insists upon itself, Lois, it insists upon itself.

If a lawyer gives birth to a stillborn baby, is it considered a miscarriage of justice?

If you look for something for 10 days and a woman walks in, opens a cabinet, and finds it:

So, just hire a female pope for the Holy Grail that has been missing for 500 years so she just opens a cabinet and she finds it.

I tripped over my wife’s bra. It was a booby trap!

Why was the math book sad?

Because it had too many PROBLEMS and not enough RAP.