it's jokes

Fetish

    • A woman was sitting alone at a bar, and a man approached her. He asked her why she looked so sad. She responded that her boyfriend had just broken up with her because she was too kinky.

    The man expressed his amazement when he admitted that his girlfriend had dumped him because of his fetishes. After a few drinks, they decided to go back to her place.

    When they arrived, she told him to make himself comfortable while she freshened up. The man complied. After a long time, she burst open her bedroom door and said, "I hope you're ready!"

    She stood in the doorway wearing a latex body suit and a gas mask. She had a whip in one hand, a flogger in the other hand, and a 12-inch strap-on dangling between her thighs.

    The dude looked at her and said, "Thanks, but I'm good for the night!"

    She said, "I thought you said that you were kinky."

    The dude replied, "While you were in there, I f-cked your cat, pissed in your plants, and came on your curtains. It's been fun!"

  • 1

    • Sleepover

    • Two girls have a sleepover.

    Karen: Let's go to bed.

    Lauren: Fine, but it's early.

    *Karen wakes up and exits room*

    *Lauren hears noise*

    Mikey: You're so much better than my girlfriend, Karen.

    Lauren: *laughs*

    Lauren: *remembers her boyfriend is Karen's brother, Mikey*

  • 2
    • it's memes

    Man

    • What do a track meet and a frat house have in common?

    They both have something getting ran through by eight men while it just sits there.

  • 0

    • Trump

    • "(live comedy club) Foul Mouthed Trump Hating Comic:

    ......"Hey how 'bout that Donald Trump chump, what the fuck up with that dude, man? Geeeezus, he got some kuh-razy ass shit spewing endlessly out that pie-hole, 24/8!" (< leap week, muthafukas!) . . . "I mean, even his last name rhymes with shit that's synonymous for being fucked up, for instance"....

    STUMP: TEENY DICK

    BUMP: TINY TIT

    GUMP: DIMWITTED MOVIE IDIOT GUY

    MUMP: A FUCKED UP CHILDREN'S DISEASE

    LUMP: IF IT'S MALIGNANT, YOU'RE KINDA FUCKED

    UMP: OFTEN MAKES TERRIBLE CALLS

    RUMP: AN ASS

    DUMP: A PILE OF SHIT THAT CAME OUT OF AN ASS

    HUMP: SOMETHING DADDY DID TO HIM DAILY THROUGHOUT CHILDHOOD

    PUMP: SEE "HUMP" . . . and last, but definitely not least --

    JUMP: JUMP INTO A DEEP HOLE MOTHER FUCKER, AND GO TO HELL!!

    .... "Well that's about it for me as my explosive diarrhea is about ready to take a turn for the worse!! ......(splort!, plop!)....... OOOOPS!! ..... sniff, sniff........ Ewww!" (audience roars) "Fuhhhhk!". . . I better go, 'cause I just went!! ..... Ha! ha! ha!" . . . "Thank You Lazies and Gerbilmen! Good Night!!" ............

    (endless laughter, guffaws, cheers, jeers, queers, beers, pants pee-ing, beaters beating, pepper sprayin', guns poppin')

    "OH LORDY!!... HELL HATH FINALLY COMETH, AND ARMAGETTIN' THE FUCK OUTTA HEEE!!"

    (quick curtain call, and off to waiting taxi.........with the windows down) .......Amen."

  • 9

    • Baby

    • What does a perverted frog say? Rub it.

    Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom.

    What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped.

    What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender.

  • 2