it's jokes
Eat frozen orphans, it's ğøöđ.
The patient said, "When will this be over?"
The doctor said, "After you die."
The patient says, "Was that a morbid joke?"
The doctor says, "Well, um, actually, you'll die because we broke the needles and the cure."
The patient says, "Well, it's a bright day, maybe if you weren't clumsy!"
Jokes are like food, not everyone has it.
I'd tell you a joke about my boyfriend's dick, but it's a private joke.
Why does new pavement smell like butt?
In other words you can also call it asphalt.
Ass-phalt.
Do you have a halo?
'Cause I can give it to you.
"Don't sneeze!"
Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.
Also,
"It dangles and swung!"
Language art quizzes are the best.
At what point does a joke become a dad joke?
When it disappears and never returns home.
How do you stop a baby from crying?
You drown it.
Why did the egg hide?
Because it was a little chicken!
What is the shortest month of the year?
May, it only has 3 letters!
I loved the Twin Towers, it's a shame my dad didn't.
Why did the cow want to be an astronaut?
Because it wanted to see the Milky Way!
Ted Bundy walks into a bar wearing all black. The bartender asks, “Whose funeral is it?”
Ted Bundy looks around the room and replies, “I haven’t decided yet.”
One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.
How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?
Did you see the dyslexic kid try to write down “funeral?”
No? Shame, it was real fun.
I knew a guy who would always claim he had a buddy with an IQ of 1.
It turns out he was just looking in the mirror.
I keep hearing "Obesity kills."
My only question is "Why is it taking so long?"
Did you hear about the guy who died by lethal injection and writhed on the stretcher for 20 minutes?
I guess it really IS all in the execution.
I have no problem with prostitution.
It's like an Air BnB for your dick.