it's jokes
Your mom is so slow it took her 9 months to create a joke.
This is not really a joke, but it's a question.
If life is a movie, then is death life? Is we seeing the trailer right now?
Why couldn't the orphan have the bag of chips?
It was family size.
I couldn’t figure out why the football kept getting bigger... then it hit me!
Why would the chicken not cross the road?
Because it's too old. (The joke is old.) (The chicken is old.)
Why do orphans want a phone so bad?
Because it has a home button.
If your baby can unhook your bra, is it time to stop breastfeeding?
I can’t take credit for this joke; it’s not mine.
Remember that time Joe Biden fell off his bike? He said it’s not his fault. He blamed the tires for being too inflated.
Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.
The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"
Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."
The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"
Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."
What did one emo say to another emo... "Rock it out!"
How many emos does it take to fix a light?
I don't know because they never came down.
My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.
How many terrorists does it take to tile a roof?
It depends on how thin you slice them.
A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"
Is it still called beef if two vegetarians are arguing?
When I throw a dodge ball at a person taller than me, it's always a nut shot.
I was thinking of starting up a stair company, but there were too many steps to it.
Why do the brakes keep squealing?
Because the driver hit it too hard.
One day, I was walking through a park when I realized it was crowded.
To this day, I still don't know who let the children out of my basement.
Have you ever wondered why orphans hate milk?
'Cause their dad never came back with it.