it's jokes
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain. "Quick, let's swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!"
What happens when a clock is hungry?
It goes back four seconds.
Why can’t the turd fart? Because it already shitted!
What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.
Why can’t orphans work at SC Johnson?
Because it’s a family company.
How did people bully Helen Keller? They said, "Wow, that was the coolest thing ever! You really should have seen it!"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Stephen.
Can't you read? It says "No Hawking."
Teacher said, "You never do your homework," so I shot her 7 times with a M1 BushDid911 and replied, "It's all in my backpack, can you grade it please?"
How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?
Call and tell her about it.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
'Cause it was stapled to the chicken.
Yo mama's so stupid, when they said it was chilly outside, she grabbed a bowl.
You gotta give it to JD Vance. He is consistent; he is Putin his dick where it don't belong!
Well, somebody has to cushion the blow.
A guy walks into a zoo, but it only has one dog.
It's a shitzu.
Can I make you a basketball cake for dessert?
Yeah, you sure can, but don't be having all your balls in it. It will taste nasty.
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning,
It's great being a sniper.
War isn't about who's right. It's about who's left.
A person went to tell a joke: "Knock knock!" "Who’s there?" "I don’t remember!" (I think we need to moove on to the next joke now.)
I just now made this one up! Then I realized it is in the cow category, so I added the moove on part! 😂
Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left? 499.
What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.
What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.
The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.
Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.
Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it had better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
Your hairline is so big, it's bigger than the universe!