it's jokes

One day, little Johnny and little Susan were in bible class. Little Susan had been tired that day, so she kept falling asleep. The teacher said to little Susan, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a push pin, and she yelled, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher goes, "That's right, go back to bed." Then, the next thing the teacher asked was, "Who gave up their son for our sins?" Little Johnny poked her again, and she yelled, "God Almighty!" The teacher says, "That's right, go back to bed." The next question the teacher asked was, "What did Adam say to Eve after their 13th child?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt again. She yelled, "If you stick that thing in me again, I am going to break it in half and shove it up your own ass and see how you like it!"

How does a penguin build a house?

Igloos it together.

I gave my blind friend a piece of sandpaper. He said it was the most gruesome book ever.

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.

One time in my dream, I had a dream that all people in wheelchairs could walk. It was awesome; I could walk!

I bought an orphan iPhone 8 Plus and he said he doesn't want it 'cause it didn't have a HOME button.

What’s the difference between a bank vault and you aunt's anus?

The owner of bank vaults don’t force you to penetrate it.

I’d tell you a Chinese joke, but it’s wong.

I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably crash and burn.

I tried to start a music career, but it crashed harder than Paul Walker.

When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye.

But when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, everyone loses it...

Why were the Twin Towers mad?

They ordered a pepperoni pizza, but only got plane.

I was going to tell a 9/11 joke, but it was really plane.

I'm glad we're all going virtual so I can cuss in front of my class and blame it on my stupid siblings.

My father died in 9/11. It's such a shame. He was a great pilot. 😔

Why don’t Chinese people model? Because it would look like the same model every time.

Why is "Frozen" a good movie for orphans?

Because they know how to "let it go" when their parents went.

I mean I'd tell you a joke about the pizza I ate, but it's just too cheesy.

What do we want? Plane noises!

When do we need it? Neeooooooowwwww!

I find it best to screw people with memory loss. I mean, what's my grandma gonna do? Describe me to the cops?