it's jokes
Why are Americans so good at shooting?
We have the best schools for it.
What did the sand say when it got into a fight with the ocean?
"Oh my God, you're such a beach!"
1: My grandpa died last year.
2: What kind of cancer?
1: He was hit by a bus! It's called bus cancer.
I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well, it was more of a wrap.
Your hairline is so far back that I hate it! 🤣
I'd make an emo joke, but that would be cutting a little too close.
What's yellow and can't swim but screams when it goes under?
A school bus full of kids.
Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?
It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence.
Old Mother Riley, had a fat cow.
She milked it and milked it but didn't know how, she pulled his tail, pulled his tits. Old Mother Riley was covered in sh!t.
I asked the gym instructor,
"Can you teach me to do the splits?"
"How flexible are you?" he asked.
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."
Hi, I gave a blind kid a gun. I told him it was a hairdryer.
Two people are in a restaurant. Person #1 doesn’t order anything, and Person #2 orders a chili.
Person #1: “Aren’t you gonna eat your bowl of chili?”
Person #2: “No, you can have it.”
Person #1: “Ok, thanks...”
Person 1 starts eating his food only to find half of a dead rat! He vomits all of the food back into the bowl.
Person #2: “That’s about as far as I got too!”
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
Once I went to watch a match in Portugal. It was between Penaldo and his kids. The referee was Georgiana (his wife). Mpaypal and Igayspeed were also there. The match began, and his kids scored two goals in the first 10 minutes. Then, when the match was about to end, Penaldo got angry and asked his wife for penalties. His wife declined, and he tortured and beat her up and took 10 penalties (missed 7 of them) but won 3-2. Shame on you, Penaldo! 😡😡😡
I would tell a pussy joke, but you would never get it.
Are guys scared of the word "Choppiness"?
Because it is literally saying "chop-penis."
Why was it cold in Stephen Hawking's house?
Because he had a new window open...
Why do Indians hate snow?
Because it's white and all over their land.
JACK smoked some shit in the casino bathroom.
Then fucked a slut, played some slots, took some shots, then shot a JOKER!
It's a sad story, because JACK killed himself, but he died with a smile.
Q: Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning?
A: Because it has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.