it's jokes
Friend #1: "Yo guys, what's the most unfair game you've ever played? For me it's Fortnite." Friend #2: "I'd have to say Monopoly." Me: "The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it's a one-way game." Friend #2: "Uhh...that's not exactly what he meant..." Friend #1: *calls the suicide hotline*
I once made a belt out of clocks.
It was a waist of time.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a boogie in it!
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
One to change the bulb and one to suck my dick.
Ex-Boyfriend: You have no ass, so we're through!
Me: Stop being a dickhead, dude!! It ain't gonna make your little sausage any bigger!
Why did the bean play Fortnite?
Because it had a beantroller.
People say I should be proud of my autism, but truth be told, I'm only in it for the help in class.
My wife found a rock and asked if it was expensive, and I said it "leavarite". She said, "Is that expensive?" and I told her, "Leave it right there."
Why does the mushroom 🍄 have many friends?
Because it’s a fungi.
How do you stop a baby from drowning? pt. 2
-Harpoon it.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
A waist of time!
Maude of ghostposter is a dumb Christian pussy-ass bitch. She's so fucking squeamish it's hilarious, although I hate her.
Why does the heart listen to music a lot?
Because it loves feeling the beat.
I wanna tell you guys a joke about a broken pencil...
But it’s quite pointless.
What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight each other?
Alien vs. Predator.
Doctor, can I please have a new butt? My old one has a hole and a crack in it.
My aunt’s star sign is Cancer, so it’s pretty ironic how she died. She was eaten alive by a giant freaking crab!
I hate it when ever I bring a girl over, my parents don't care, but when I bring one of my friends that's a boy, they're like, "Keep the door open," and I'm gay.
I hate it when people think I'm a boy because of my short hair. I mean, what did you expect? I'm gay, of course, I have short hair.
When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.