it's jokes
Dad: How was your trip to the park?
Daughter: It was good until the man came along.
Dad: *gasps* Whatever happened, it wasn't your fault, but tell Daddy, what happened?
Daughter: He made my friends go away so it was just me and him... then he took my dress off...
Dad: Oh God, what next?
Daughter: Nothing, that was it.
Dad: Oh, come on! That wasn't exciting, make something up!
How did the toilet react when it received a gift?
That was so pot full (thoughtful)!
The twin towers are like water bottles.
It's all right if you knock them down as long as you pick up the mess.
Why does everybody like the sun? Because it's hot.
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain? He could feel it in his bones!
I have a really good joke.
Do you want to hear it?
Oh wait, this is a bad joke website.
I have a joke about construction. I'm still working on it.
What did the math acorn say when it grew up?
"Gee-I'm-a-tree."
Did you hear about the song Rihanna wrote about the tin can?
It was called "S & N."
haha why couldn't the bike stand up because it was too tired.
A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, “Hey mister, it’s getting really dark and I’m scared.” The man replies, “How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.”
How many orphans does it take to "test drive" a bus? It depends on how much space the orphanage has and how much space the cemetery has.
I comforted my friend about his wife's death, until I found out who did it.
How do you know if someone is anorexic? You toss them a onion ring and see if they eat it, or use it as a hula hoop.
Your mom is so fat she ate an iPad and said, "Ahqah!" funny food mmm banana and hehe haha! And what deal with airline food? It's not white and it's not black and it's not Asian!? AHAH? DSF
Three citizens were going through an exam to become agents of the FBI. Their instructor handed the first guy a gun in a room with his wife and said he had to shoot her. He walked out in shame and said he couldn't do it. The second guy had the same scenario. He put the gun up, but couldn't pull the trigger, so he walked out in shame. The third guy was put in the same scenario. He walked out and told the instructor, "The gun wasn't loaded, I had to strangle the bitch."
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It was on a roll.
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a boogie in it!
Why does an orphan play soccer?
Because it's the only love they get.
My friend told me she had a good joke and it beat all mine. I said, "Haha, that is funny!"